It was a long day, but it brought good news and some sad.

So we made it there for an 11am appointment with my oncologist. First we sat and reviewed my whole story with a fellow doctor who works with my doc. I didn't much enjoy re-living it, the only part I enjoy is the good doctors who took care of me.

Ok- so then we go into a room for a physical and the doc was so sweet he even did my weight in kilos which turned out to be 55something (love that)- I'm sure they do that to figure my chemo quantities, but still enjoyed that. As he is examining me he asked if we were done with our family planning. HUH? Well I didn't realize I have a good chance of going into menopause (for good) :( during chemo- Plus being my cancer is Estrogen receptive I will not be able to have a baby for 5 years and that makes me 46- so then we panic a bit and he tells us there are some alternatives. Rob was pretty upset because he wasn't thinking about that. I was too but I can't cry in doctor offices usually. Ok- so onto the good news: Enter my doctor- great man- comforted Rob and examined me as well. After the examine he said, "I'll meet you next door to discuss how you are going to live Happily Ever After." How nice to hear that.

Back in the office he said 1st I can tell him why I'm there so he has an idea of what I'm expecting. Then he said, "Now I'm going to tell you why I'm here, to do nothing less than cure you is my goal." I'm loving that!

So if I do nothing I have a 70% chance of being cured. Being he wants to cure me he would not recommend that, he recommended chemo and hormone therapy(pill for 5 years).

So kind he was to write this part down for me:

AC is a drug mixture- and the one with the most sick side effect and 15min to receive

T is the next drug mixture- easier side effects but will take 3hours to receive

N is a drug to help with the good cell growth and this is a shot to be given to me at home the day after treatment.

Tamoxifen is the pill that will block estrogen and it will be taken for 5 years

I will receive chemo every 2 weeks and I will be getting 8 treatments- taking me up to 15weeks of treatment.

Doing this treatment increases my rate of cure to 90%. That is great! I am so lucky. Numbers are just numbers and there are no guarantees, but now I feel like everyone else. None of us know what is in store so I'm just going to love every minute I can. It doesn' t matter what percents they give you because no one knows what percent they are.

After all this good news we had to talk about babies, ovaries, sperm, fertility choices and the great doctors immediately called over a specialist and arranged for her to meet us at 2:15 and they kindly changed my fill appointment to whenever I got there. We are thinking about the baby issue and that is hard. There is a lot to it and some of it we don't know if we want to do. I did make an appointment with a fertility clinic about an hour from where we live- there are none around here. If we decide to harvest my ovaries chemo will have to wait. Right now we don't want to wait anymore for chemo. Plus to get my ovaries going I would have to take high doses of estrogen (the stuff that my tumor fed off of). I could skip treatment and do the food is my medicine but I have a child to think about as well as Rob and that just isn't an option with my responsibilities. This seems like one more thing cancer took from us, but we are thinking about turning it around and adopting. Maybe we were meant to adopt. Wouldn't that just turn this whole bad thing into something great!

I have an appointment to start my chemo Monday at Sloan and it seems like it's a go.

Expansion brought me up to 460ccs and I can take a break from that for 2-3months. Thank goodness for that because now I'm sore and last night I couldn't get comfortable. Tomorrow I make my appointment for my reconstruction sometime in the summer. It's hard to think that far in advance because at times I feel like I'm pressing my luck.

I started celebrating today with a green smoothie for breakfast!

I even prepared lunch- couscous with toms and cuks!

In ending I have to say thank you to St Theresa, St. Pergrine, The Blessed Mother, God the Father and Jesus- I heard you when you spoke, seen when you sent me a message, and I felt you hold me up when I couldn't do it. I love you and will live and pray to make you proud of me.

Danielle