Things I'm thinking about.................

Wearing a wig? HairUwear

I heard wigs are hot and itchy so here's an idea

Hair under a hat- not a full wig.
Underhair

I'd like to attempt this This girl is my crochet IDOL

I'm finishing up a real ugly scarf for myself

I'd love to make Christmas cupcakes with these little guys

MARTHA STEWART

I feel like I want to do this- BUT I can't yet

Downward-Facing Dog

Yarn - I can't find any cool yarn around here!

My love/hate relationship with my new phone

Tea and Tea Kettles - I'm into Tea lately

Soup- I'd love to make a HUGE pot of SOUP once a week!

Sweet Potato and Basil by Robin Miller dishing out the recipe at the NEST

Heidi Klum and all her jewels for The LOFT...I see this picture a lot in NYC.

XX
Glamarella Junk

These slip dresses are SWEET! also glamarella

BloodyMs

This hat looks good on anyone!

Juicy Couture @ Zappos

$65

you can get in black at Juicy's website for $55 but this color is NiCe

Wish is was cheaper! They sell a ton of hats in the city but I haven't found this style and this color yet.

Expansion #2

Had my second expansion and they put a little more in than last time. It felt tight this time, but not huge pain. It reminded me of breast feeding days when I couldn't nurse Lucas and my breasts were full. My doctor still thinks maybe 3-4 more times.

Going to the city is more fun around the holiday because it's all decked out. I wish I was in better spirits, because I would probably have taken better pictures.

We did manage to shop around a little.....well Rob tried some coats. I love this coat but not many guys around here where them. They look so nice with scarf, but Rob wasn't that into it.


Some days I struggle with fear. I know I should stop but I can't. This may be when I need to call a friend, but find it hard. I'm not as bad with the touching myself, looking for bumps and pains, so that's good. When you hear you have cancer you tend to keep thinking it's other places. I have definitely come a long way, but there are still tough days. Days that are bad I look for the sun outside, I pray, read or go to church.

While in the city we passed by 2 churches and went in.......
St. Bart's - I believe it may be Episcopalian
Rob really liked St. Bart's because it was just really moving in there. This angel was beautiful.

My favorite- St. Patrick's
I know not real original, but I love it because they do have a shrine for St. Theresa. You can light a candle, and they also have a relic of her.

Lucky us we got to see the manger- no baby Jesus yet!
Check out the camel- what a ham!



Here is a shot of my 2nd expansion- don't look if you don't like scars. This looks pretty darn good if you ask me. I took NO pictures before this fill. The darker skin on top is where I have extra skin to be stretched. They keep saying don't worry about the way it looks and at 1st I'm like "who cares?", but now I see what they are talking about. It isn't even- it's like a squishy water balloon is in there. Plus it's pretty big because they are creating a pocket and the more they have to work with the better. God bless Dr. M and his staff.

Thank you God for my beautiful cancer-free breast!
When I was first diagnosed a very smart women told me to repeat this at least 100 times a day.
Dr. Helene B Leonetti- she's pretty smart.

Prayers

Well here's my St. Theresa story. A best friend sent me the St. Theresa Novena and I saved it until I was going for my 2nd surgery. I said it for the 5 days and the last day ended on the morning of my surgery. The whole thing about St. Theresa is that sometimes if you pray to her you will receive a rose. The rose can come in any form- scent, sight and so on. Well on the morning of finishing I then read from my wisdom book which opening quote was: "The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose"~Hada Bejar~

That made my morning.

I love praying to her and I am reading a book "The Life of a Soul" in which she talks about her life.

Here is the Novena if you are interested:

Five-day prayer

"St. Therese, the Little Flower, please pick me a rose from the Heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love.

Ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more."

Also say five Our Fathers, five Hail Marys and five Glory Be's, and pray everything on five consecutive mornings before 11 a.m. On the last day, add one more set of five Our Fathers, Hail Marys and Glory Be's.

Here is St. Theresa as a young girl

a Few cOOl ThinGs

Fab K is having giveaways till Friday

Must get a boyfriend blazer

Need to find a spot in my house for this CHALK BOARD:

I said goodbye to my surgeon till

October! I love my surgeon. The majority of the time I spent with her I was sleeping and she was taking pieces of me, but I love her.

I'm so glad I went to Sloan. Yesterday when we were sitting waiting for the nurse I thought of my other breast and got choked up. I keep picturing my breast sitting on a tray in the operating room. The good thing is at Sloan they do so much research that you sometimes have the opportunity to be part of a study. My breast tumor will be involved in 2 studies and that does make me feel good. In October I will go for a mamo and see my surgeon again.

I have an appointment with an oncologist Jan 4th. I am on a waiting list if he has any cancellations sooner than that. So no chemo before Christmas! I think that will be a good thing.

I had my 1st fill and it wasn't bad. I have no feeling in my breast so the I only felt when the needle went through the muscle. Like we thought they use a magnet to find the area to pierce with the needle and they mark it with a marker and stick it. I think she gave me 60ccs. I did take the pain pill before I went (skipped the anxiety pill) so there wasn't any pain after. I actually see a bump forming. I will go to get a fill every Monday for the next 3 weeks. I also love my plastics surgeon too!

Cyber Monday

I did do some Walmart shopping this morning - I'm so proud of myself. It's slow moving on the Christmas gifts.

Today I get my 1st fill which should be interesting. I have a metal plate attached to the tissue expander which has the expander opening. They will search for the opening with a magnet and then fill it. No I don't have an opening or anything so I guess they will stick me with a needle type thing. I may be sore after- like I have a real tight bra on.

I also meet with my surgeon and I do know my path report for the most part, but I am nervous. Results of any sort scare me - I thinks it's normal. I'm confused what pill I want to take this morning- anxiety or pain?

If anyone out there is wondering about my reconstruction check this out
You can follow her through her journey. She actually had both her breasts reconstructed.

I won't know about my chemo until I meet with my oncologist.

Lucas is going to be 13- and not a clue what to do for his bday. Ok- I may have a clue, like he wants a phone. What kind of party? Could go either way- boys, girls- fun- cool- too young- too old. I seen some pics of a party he went to boy/girl dance party and a boy had 2 hands on a girl's bottom while slow dancing.....oh no no no.....that's not happening. May have skipped that party if I had known. And yes there are pics on the Internet.
I'll come up with something.

Well I have to go do my exercises and pray. Someone at church said I was tough and I feel like a big baby at this moment. I'll have to turn up my 50cent tune- Get UP. I don't agree with this harsh music but it does toughen me up.
Another song I love when walking is Evacuate the Dance Floor. The one day I had my ipod on in the house after my walk and I was dancing like mad for who knows how long- while Rob was watching. That was funny....I'm starting to feel less stressed.


Here's a pic from Mardi Gras the last year before the flood. See how I can dance? I love the hand behind the head.....What a cheese ball. The guy? Rob was taking the pic. Yeah I know all those beads.....it's not what it looks like.

I have another St. Theresa story for next post. I continue to be blessed my her. I've come a long way, thanks to her.

I'm off.

Happy Thanksgiving~

SWell got the call this morning ALL the other nodes were negative for cancer cells! Thank you God, the saints and everyone praying for me.

I am so happy about that and feel closer to getting rid of this cancer.Thank you St. Theresa I love you!

Today is good. I'm so blessed to still pray hard and have help from above. When I think back to my St. Theresa prayers and the things I ask for they come to me. Like when I was at the hospital for my 2nd surgery I had the women in the store tell me that a mastectomy was nothing she had been through it. After that I had a man (a big jolly guy) tell me not to worry his wife had breast cancer 15 years ago and it will be ok. Then my nurse told me that "This is just a bump in the road.". At first I didn't think much of it, but then I thought of the prayer which contains this:

Little Flower, give me your childlike faith, to see the Face of God in the people and experiences of my life, and to love God with full confidence.

I work hard on this, but at times I struggle with my confidence. I only told my mom about one night having a feeling of Jesus telling my nodes were going to be clear. I didn't talk about it because of confidence I suppose. I only told my mom after they told me my nodes were clear. So then when I got the report that one was not I was thrown, not only because I didn't want any nodes to have cells, but because I thought for sure Jesus was talking to me it really hurt. This is where I believe my faith was tested. I thought about it a lot before today. At times I thought this is where Jesus was talking about clear nodes, but I still struggled with believing. I feel so bad not being so confident. I will continue to pray for confidence.
God was speaking to me through those people.


On another note I read every day from Daily Word for Women written by Colleen Zuck, Janie Wright, and Elaine Meyer. I love this book and recently read about Kindness:

I know that this is true for me: When I am kind to others, I am the first to be blessed.

This is because the kindness that I give to anyone must first move through me, and it does as a warm glow of love and acceptance emanating from God's spirit with me. Kindness immediately refreshes me with thoughts of what is highest and best.

That refreshing, relaxing feeling then moves throughout my body, relieving me of any stored tension, freeing my organs and muscles to function in perfect ways.
I may not think that everyone deserves my kindest thoughts, but I need to be blessed by them. For my own well-being, I express kindness that heals and refreshes me and all my relationships.

As hard as this is when I'm down I at least make sure I smile. Today when I was at the store I smiled at a guy and he said: "Thank you for that smile, it's so nice around Thanksgiving to see that and be thankful." Then he said, "God Bless You Princess".

It's going to be a great Thanksgiving. I know I have a way to go but it will be ok.