Oh it's been busy, but an update of sorts

De-cluttering is coming to an end, the house is being built and I hurt myself.  I'm moving slower than usual and the de-clutter is going slow, because of my injury.  Bending over is pretty painful, but I'm working on getting the medicine routine down to cut down on the pain.  :)

I did manage to do an update on my progress with my Foob life over at PlanetFoob:
http://planetfoob.blogspot.com/2013/08/an-update.html

It's the holiday weekend- Have fun in the sun!

No Breast~Cancer stuff.......Reconstruction of me

Sorry my friends that are probably sick of my breast cancer stuff, but just doing a little update.

Well I haven't posted an update on what's been going on..........nothing much- yeah!
I have my next blood test July 15th  and I do get nervous as it approaches.  I'm being monitored every 6 months with a blood test and yearly with a mamo in my real breast.

Since treatment has finished I have noticed my implanted breast being very tight and at times painful.    I need to stretch it out everyday.

Anyone with an implant can get a hardening of their implant:

As it was told to me before if this gets too painful or I can't stand the looks of it I have the option of them using my own tissue to make me a new breast.  There's a lot to considered:

Pros-
Never have to swap out an implant
My breasts will be better matched
I'll have a nipple
It will not be painful
I'll feel free to have sex with no bra on

Cons-
Putting my family through the process- all this stuff affects everyone
Using my own tissue is a surgery~ do i even believe in doing that to my body?
There will be another scar on my body
If they want to use my belly - lymph nodes will be affected and I'm enjoying them at this time
Money and Time- I would most definitely go to the best surgeon for this and in my research the one I hear good things about is:
Dr. Frank Dellacroce
Otolaryngology, Plastic Surgery
Male - 12 years experience
Center For Restorative Breast Surgery
1717 Saint Charles Ave
New Orleans, LA
MORE info HERE
It's a toss up-

I have to be honest if you are newly diagnosed you really need to do some research on all this.  There is no doubt in my mind my plastic surgeon did exactly what should be done- but unfortunately I had a not so rewarding outcome due to my skin taking a big hit from radiation.  What I have is great for clothing and even a bathing suit as long as I have my prosthesis- but in no way nude does it appear normal.  I have gotten more concerned as I have more pain and discomfort.  I FINALLY was able to share my photo with a woman who has a lot of knowledge on reconstruction for advice.  Through the Breastcancer.org cancer site I found a forum of women going through reconstruction who post their pictures.  This is a very guarded site and you do need to go through an approval process to access it.  Well I have had access for a while, but found it hard to look at.  It's hard to look at picture after picture of breast cancer reconstructions, but when you are wondering how normal you are compared to others it helps.  You don't feel so alone.  I finally needed to look into what it REALLY could look like to get a Tram Flap (my own tissue transplant) and not pictures you find in the doctor's office of their BEST turn outs- I need to see the real stuff that goes on.  It helped a lot and I met a woman who viewed my pictures and let me know what I should do next to fix mine if that is my intention.  I still haven't posted my picture- because it's in good faith they ask you to share if you can- to help others.  Just like you 2 breasted girls we compare our foobs to see who's got the best one..lol. 

I look to woman who got what I got- One reduced breast and one foob.  In doing so I stumbled upon this (not on the private site) woman; A 49-year-old jewellery designer posed with her mastectomy scars to give hope to other victims of the disease.


'The picture is an affirmation of life. It has restored my confidence and made me feel sexy again, says Ms Brassey.

 As a young girl she was approached to do Playboy, but turned them down.  As an adult breast cancer survivor she did agree to do a nude shot.   Sometimes I feel so rotten about my breasts and I miss them a lot, but then you see someone like this and it is inspiring.  You may look at it and feel bad or think it looks pretty bad, but to me it is beautiful.  Before going through this I would have felt very different.  I would hope that if someone would look at me they would see how hard I fought and how much I love just being here and find that beautiful.     

Here she is:

Featured at the Extraordinary Portraits exhibition held at Chelsea Arts Club in London.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1215537/Breast-cancer-survivor-spurned-Playboy-poses-nude-raise-awareness-disease.html#ixzz1QmG5rBoD

This is what I have going on - except for the tummy- I have one.

Some of my scars aren't as bad and some are worse but getting better

I continue to LOVE my bathing suit from Lands End (mastectomy suit)

Thank You Lands End for thinking of us....Uniboobs 

Summer will be a breeze because I also found a spray tan I can live with that I can spray on at home- 

Quick Tan by Body Drench.

I'm loving that after more than a year I can wear my hair back and I'm a smidge away from a baby pony tail.

I'm totally in love with my Certified Manual Lymph Drainage/CDT~  Alana at the Myers Center and CAN'T imagine that if I wouldn't have met her I would never know what I know about my lymph system.  She has taught me how to keep my arm safe as to NEVER get Lymphedema. 

 I've learned how to actually help my lymphatic system by actually doing some manual manipulation on myself. 

What I'm learning to do is to get my fluid flowing away from my (mastectomy) arm which has little to no lymph nodes left.  I direct the fluid to other/ better drainage areas.

My good breast has a very bad scar and thanks to her advice I have been massaging my scar (which is like a rope under my skin) with

100% ARNICA OIL

 and it has gotten so much better. 

GET this oil if you have scarring- LOVE IT.

Alana also told me about LympheDIVAS

I wear a compression sleeve when flying, working out or when doing stuff outside in the heat and it looks something like this:

I was professionally fitted for my sleeve and it works well.

Well at LympheDIVAS I can get a more stylish less constricting sleeve like this:

Sometimes my arm gets a heavy feeling and that's when I put on my heavy sleeve, otherwise I can wear a lighter more stylish one.  I haven't purchased one yet because there are too many to choose from, but I am liking the one above.    

Like this FB page:

http://www.facebook.com/#!/LymphedemaGuru

I found an AMAZING website concerning Organic Make-Up

The GLAMORGANIC Goddess

and she really likes make-up... LIKE really trampy eye lashes and everything!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Glamorganic-Goddess/124792960872102?ref=ts&sk=wall

My diet and exercise has been....well hasn't been.  We are eating better at home, but I need to go back to the gym and Pilates!  I noticed a big difference in my arm/implant when I go to Pilates.  My instructor is on a long vacation and I'm not liking it. 

I'm starting to go on with my life and enjoy my friends SO much.  I spent a wonderful evening with some girl friends - we had a sleep over and at one point a friend said- "now that's the old Danielle".  I realize I am sometimes quiet not sure why- I take stuff in a lot more.  Sometimes I just wanna watch ~ Sometimes I'm afraid to live like I did.  BUT I'm getting over it and I'm finding ME again!

I love you girls SOOOO much!  Thanks for being there for me. 

Girls SleepOver Deposit NY

Bat and All

ALSO must report this- Finally I feel like I look more like a woman than a man....lol. 

Funny, but true!

When a guy looks at you like a woman instead of a dude it's a good day!          

Mastectomy Goodies- Shopping

OK

Step Right In

While looking for a bathing suit,  I realized there are not a lot of choices.  If I want to wear my breast form- I'm looking for what is called a Mastectomy Swim Suit. A mastectomy bra or swimsuit will contain a pocket to hold a breast form.  They also have breast forms just for swimming as well, pretty cool.   The challenge didn't bother me that much because I like a good shopping (clothes that is) challenge.  I think I found some really cute things made just for us.

Let me explain if you don't already know

I had a mastectomy- Yes

I also had reconstruction- with a breast implant.

What I have is a mound like a breast, but not a complete match to my breast.  This is great because with out that mound I would not have cleavage and that would restrict dressing options. 

What I needed like so many reconstructions with a breast implant is a breast form to fill out the rest of the breast and a bra for that matter.

Breast forms are also important because when you don't have a breast you can go with out a form, but you will be unbalanced and as time goes on you compensate in some way for that.  Now that I have my form I feel more balanced.   PLUS it's ALL about MAKING US feel GOOD!   

Like I have already posted if you need a breast form you need to see a professional for fitting and other info.

Here is who I seen and LOVED her.

After treatment there are just a couple things you will need................maybe a breast form
If so.....Matectomy bras (they have the pocket to hold your form)
If you had all your lymph nodes taken you will want to get fitted for a compression sleeve for flying and repetitive motions.  This is to help prevent Lymphedema.
You can read all about Lymphedema and precautions HERE.  There is some great new info concerning weight lifting and lymphedema- they are a little different that what we have been told before- Read the Study HERE.
Great Lymphedema Site: National Lymphedema Network
And last you may want a medical alert bracelet to alert any medical team assisting you that they are not to prick or take blood pressure on you affected arm.  This seems a little caution yes- but if you are alone somewhere and they prick you; it will put you at risk for getting lymphedema and after everything we've been through we don't want that to!

This bracelet is from TLCdirect

Thinking about Vacation..............I'm so thankful for my Lady GaGa (my breast form-see her HERE).  It's like I have so many more options than I ever thought I would have!

OK Mastectomy Girls here's your Vacation Get-Up!
I've linked to everything - I hope!

I LOVE this suit so MUCH!

Amoena Buenos Aires TA Tankini Set Swimwear

84.00

makemeheal.com

The company Amoena has a lot of nice bras as well  

South Beach Swimsuits

has regular suits and a section for mastectomy

Urban Outfitters

Urban Outfitters

Urban Outfitters

Before I realized they make tops with pockets I pretty much mourned over NO MORE cami tops- BUT here you go one with the pockets!

The PinkBra.com

TLCdirect

Urban Outfitters

Urban Outfitters

Urban Outfitters

Even my Medic Alert bracelet is cute - I LOVE yellow!

Amazon has other great ideas for Medic Alerts

Here's what it looks like on:

 And if all else fails and you can't find the right suit you may have to get creativee and Sew-In your own Pocket - they even sell them HERE

Hope this helps!

Thankful Thursday

Well I have to say Valentines Day was  Different!

And a lota Thanks for that.

It started with my appointment for my prosthesis!  Yes eventhough I had Reconstruction I still need a little something and that is the case more than you think.  I'll have to do a post on that whole appointment.

Anyways- met Sheila from Klemmt Orthopedics and she was AWESOME!  I choose her because the other place said they would have to order the bras where as Sheila keeps a good stock and promised I'd leave with goodies!

I left with 1 white sports bra, 2 nudes, and a black- oh and something else- SWEET!  You have no idea how good it felt to walk out of there all "tricked out".....lol.  And for Valentine's Day to top it off!
Thank you so much Sheila!

Here's me 

The next pic is me without my pro

you may or may not be able to tell the difference

but that's OK I did it for me

like every girl should!

And here she is: 

I should name her

Since I'm so in love with my Lady GaGa tee it's only fitting to call her

Lady GaGa

I'm very Thankful to be working & having insurance that paid half of my cost for my STUFF!

Thank goodness my parents keep good insurance!

<3

Since Valentine's Day was on a Monday Rob and I decided to stay at home and eat-

So the deal was Rob makes dinner and I make dessert!

When I got home from work Rob had everything ready and decorated the basement.

It was even better than going out

Lucas served us our dinner

He was dressed in a suit jacket and hat-how cute.

Valentine's Day can be a sore subject because there's so much hype and then sometimes it's a dud.

I had a few that I was really disappointed- how childish I know.

Now I LOVE it even more than ever, but just for the fact that I'm here to celebrate.

Candies, Flowers- whatever- We've got health and the energy to Love it Up.

Thanks so much Rob!

And Lucas showered me with gifts like a cool frog, socks, candles, nail polish, Tom's Coffee and

a beautiful necklace.

Thanks Lucas for making it special.   

And last but not least I'm thankful this stressful day is done - I very stressed due to CMC (cancer mind consumption)  interfering with  some things I had to do! In life there are triggers that set it off.  Prayers and Love got me through.   By the time I got home Rob was already gone (gym)- But he had out for me a wine glass of water and lemon....lol.  Ahhh

Ture Word Sunday- I'll let you know when I need that nipple.

 Well I finally decided I won't be getting my nipple early March.  Up until now I pretty much just went along with everything during my reconstruction with not much opinion.  I think I've been doing that because I'm just grateful to be alive and sometimes I think "who the hell do you think you are wanting breasts that match?"  I don't know what it is; I guess it's the cancer that scares the hell out of you and makes you realize you have no control.  Well it seems like we have no control. 

I'm soooooo disappointment with my super slow weight lose almost to the point of saying hell on it.  EXCEPT for the fact that I feel my body getting stronger and it feels so good.  I do have pain- but it's from working out.  My affected side does hurt sometimes, but I'm sure that's to be expected.  I pay no favor to that arm and do everything anyone else would do.  In my Pilates I actually moved up a notch on my springs and that was great.  No one knows how bad I felt before- being tired and my weak legs were very different for me.  I have never had problems like that and it was scary and plain sucked.  I know I'm getting stronger and it feels so good.  I would love to just celebrate that, but my weight puts a damper on it.  People don't say as much about my weight and that's nice, but we are all our own worst critic.  I was really hoping to be down to my pre-chemo weight before going for my nipple, but it's clear to me that's just not possible right now.  I wanted to lose the weight to see where my breasts will be at- like as far as matching. 

I have also been trying to read up and research nipple tattoos- I don't know, but I would think there are some that are better than others doing tattoos.  I hear there are some artists who are great at 3D tattoos so wouldn't that be nicer?  I mean couldn't doc make my nipple and an artist tattoo it?  Researching this stuff is hard for me because I don't really like looking at medical stuff and even seeing someone get a tattoo bothers me a bit.

I don't know when I'm going to get down to that weight- I do feel like it will happen.

I take a look back at me the Christmas before I started chemo (after my surgeries)

Then I see a picture from after chemo during radiation and I get so upset

Oh good heavens!

Then I see a picture we took this weekend and I can see I have made some improvement

It's hard gaining that weight and seeing myself so heavy and my breast scars meaning my underarm area are equally as hard to take on some days.  I actually realized I was better off shaving under my arm with a nose trimmer........laugh go ahead it is a bit funny.   I realized this weekend there are somethings I just can't wear anymore.....well I could, but it certainly wouldn't look right.   

I know I'm being a real baby and should just be grateful- but at some point I'm hoping to get some guts back- Can't I be gracefully ballsy?  Postponing my nipple is a step in the right direction.  Oh, but now I won't have a nipple for our family vacation- darn it. lol

All this deformed crap brings me to my next book- When I seen this guy on the book store shelf I immediately fell in love with him.  I know he will be an inspiration to me and how refreshing he's a dog.     

  

    

What a wonderful true story

So no nipple till I'm good and ready!
Even though I'm whining.......
I'm actually really happy these days - I love my family, friends and faith in GOD.

What a great day!

I'm a fan of Bette

Well I met with my plastic surgeon and he said I did pretty good with the radiation.  There is a little bit of tightness, but not bad.  I'm still tan there so he wants to wait a bit till I get my nipple.  Well I have an appointment of March 3rd to get my nipple- yeah.  We had 3 options- 1st a tattoo of a nipple, 2nd he will gather the skin on my breast and make a raised area (like a nipple) and then tattoo, 3rd skin graft from somewhere else and then sew it on.  We decided on #2- which can be done right in his office.
We asked about the scar on my other breast because it's pretty red and raised- we are going to wait and if it doesn't go down on it's own he can inject steroids in it and help break it down.

Met with my breast surgeon and I got 2 breast exams- and they were excellent!  No lumps No bumps!  I will have my next mamo May 2nd.  I was so happy with my appointments, but I immediately start thinking of my next appointments and start to worry.  I'm getting better- but it's still hard.  I'm trying really hard this time to just enjoy the good appointments I had.

My next appointments are Dec 2nd with my oncologist- which I'm assuming blood work will be done to check tumor markers.....people worry about scans, but since I don't get scanned I will worry about my blood work.  Well I'll try not to.

Dec 3rd I will have my D&C and have that polyp removed.

Speaking of my uterus- I was able to visit my survivor friend in the city Francesca!  She is so sweet to us.....we ate good food and enjoyed some 25year old balsamic vinegar.  She gave me a Susan G Koman hat!  She's a uterine cancer survivor who does the Susan G Koman in the city and she is one strong lady.  Uterine cancer treatment can be very difficult for women- they go through some very invading procedures.

So anyways as we sit down I hear this song playing and I'm like - what is this song I know I know it.  I just couldn't figure it out and then finally I did.  A Man Without Love- BETTY'S favorite was singing!  Engelbert Humperdinck!  I couldn't believe it- How could that happen.  I mean Betty LOVED him so much.  I forget how many times she seen him in concert and actually in her casket she held her rosary and her tickets to the next Engelbert concert which she will now be watching from heaven.  I took that as a sign from Betty to live a little and enjoy myself.  WoW.  If anyone can get a message from heaven it would be smart little Betty.
Thank you Betty.

Also I'm so thankful for my mother in law for taking care of the dogs all day.  Thankful for Lucas' friend and his family for taking care of my little Lucas.  Lucas was so sweet to text me about my appointment.  I love that kid.    

I have a new book I'm reading
Getting Well Again- Carl Simonton- it's old but it's a good one.  I'm hoping to meditate more and use visualization.

A couple of blogs I follow that I Love:
The Carcinista- she is a wonderful writer and her recent post was one of the most beautiful things I read.
Dancing with Cancer- another wonderful woman who is kind enough to share their experiences and show us that you can live with cancer and even beat it right till the end.
These women make me believe that I could stand up to cancer no matter what- I love them for that.

My pilates workout is getting a little easier and I'm starting to look foward to class instead of dreading it.
I lost another pound - they are slow to leave but I think the pounds will come off.  Writing everything down that I'm eating is helping a lot and Heather has been so good with helping make some changes in my food choices.

Mary had a little fluff and everywhere Mary went the fluff was sure to follow

LOL

I call her fluff

because I stuff her with fluff

That's all I can think about when I think about my fluff (the little thing I stuff my bra with).  That songs goes through my mind as I run around my house asking Rob if he's seen my fluff.  I really am growing to love my new breast...but I do think about accessorizing and taking extra care of it/her whatever you may call it.

Tats (OK I'm not a tattoo type but it's fun to look)
Sometimes I wish I could be that daring....



Stick on Nipples
Who knew there were so many to choose from and that cross dresser shops have some really good ones.

Or the best of both world with no pain, but still something pretty that isn't a fake nipple.  I still have a hard time with the purpose of a fake nipple.  Well it would be nice to have matching sides- so I get that but other than that?

So pasties maybe the better choice for me

Pretty No-Underwire bras

I had no idea how hard it is to find pretty wireless bras- if you find any alert me please!

Scar cream

And here she is over 6 weeks out of radiation

Everything seems to look good.  I have a little discoloring under my breast, but that may go away.  The doctor showed me how to move my implant around as to keep scar tissue from forming and making it hard.  I honestly had no idea it could move so much until he moved it all around.  After all this I'm starting to realize it's mine and it's a part of me!
Oh and I've weened off of zoloft......that's another funny doctor story for another time.