Friday, September 25, 2009

I won't be blogging for a while

I have something in my right breast and I'm super nervous. I go Monday to have it checked out at the breast center. I've been having pain in my breast so I'm hoping it's just a cyst.

I am super scared and crying a lot. I should have insisted on an appointment today, but have to wait till Monday. Rob will go with me.

I don't know what else to say. Everything except my family and God seems so unimportant.

Say a prayer!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009



Starting this CLEAN is harder than I thought.
Notes- sticky things- TIME
I need to do an elimination diet for 1 week prior:
After that it's 3 weeks cleansing- 2 liquid meals and 1 solid everyday.
I'm still in LOVE with this book! XX

Something I did find to prep myself:

A Sunday Strategy by Martha

The list looks painless

I need to start my elimination diet Saturday!

Right now I'm trying to finish up with my wedding photographer before Our One Year Anniversary!

NOVEMBER 1, 2008

Friday, September 18, 2009

BOOBS of a 40 year old

This bra is special because it is wonderful for a woman with substance! It's by Victoria's Secret and it's especially designed to minimize without looking dumb.

OK- I have to discuss boobs because lately I have gained weight and they are huge to the point of gross- I think.

When I look at my self naked the boobs are def big, but also not as perky! But that isn't as much of a bother as my shoulders! I have worn a bra since age.....I have no idea. BUT I have been wearing a bra 24/7 since the beginning of my bra wearing life. So I do actually at times have marks in my shoulders :(.....I can't sleep without my bra on!

SIDE NOTE- the fit of your bra is super important. There was a time in my life I sized chicks for bras at Victoria's Secret. Any way watch this and your bra questions/problems will be solved. You may even look a few pounds lighter just by a well fitted bra. If you ever do anything special for yourself get fitted or do it your self and as crazy as the size sounds buy it and try it. Watch the above clip from Daily Candy- it's really good.

It's so funny how things have changed as far as boobs go- In the 80s/90s the super models were super skinny with not much chest SO that's what I wanted. Clothes just look better- Right? Well now I know that's not true, but then I wanted nothing to do with boobs. I hid my boobs.

As I got older and liked boys almost as much as fashion I couldn't figure out why boys would like my friend so much. She would wear tight sweaters and I was like - ew. I wore bags hoping to look like a stick, but looking more like a chubby kid than a girl. Then I don't know if someone told me or I just figured it out: Boobs get you attention. Not always the welcomed attention, but attention. I learned this in my 20s- that my boobs were big for my size- what ever that information did for me? I guess he thought I would be flattered. So then I learned sometimes I wanted attention and sometimes no. In my late 20s boob jobs became more popular and then sometimes people would have the nerve to ask if they were real. You can't blame the person boobs had taken on a life of their own- it wasn't even like they were a body party anymore. WHAT is really funny is the bigger the boobs the badder the attention gets! I realized that in my 30s. And no mom wants attention while walking through Walmart with your child.

So now I'm 40 and KNOW that a bad bra does us no justice! I can think back to grammar school in my early bra wearing years- MRS>(my Spanish teacher) She had 3 boobs! Not really but she had the boob over pour- that I sport at times. YUK!

And speaking of 3 boobs- Did you know that when we are maturing in our mom's belly we actually have a line of possible boob locations? NO? I didn't know that UNTIL- I was going to have my son and in my doctor's office he found a mark on my stomach that resembled an early, early nipple form.

This is called a supernumerary nipple. (sorry to use that n word)

They arise during fetal development, when something along the milk lines goes slightly awry, triggering the development of an additional nipple. Around one in 18 humans has an extra nipple, making the condition not at all unusual.

I have one. No one besides my doctor ever noticed mine.

Some people say it means you're special other say it's the sign of a witch!

I didn't realize how much of a boob person I was until blogging this. Now for sure my son can never read this blog. Or Rob for that matter- he will flip out over that 3rd thingy. lol

5 days after posting this I had a mamo and ultra sound my 1st ever- to find out I had 2 tumors in my right breast.  I think all along I knew there was something up with my breasts, but honestly didn't know what.  I would never have thought I would get breast cancer being my family isn't one for a history of breast cancer.  Well myself and my cousin both were diagnosed at 40.  Our fathers were brothers.
Please if you wonder about your breast go to your doctor and get checked.  This post was a nice tribute to my life with my breasts. I now will carry on without one- it saddens me that I didn't act sooner- the night I mentioned to my husband that something seemed wrong I should have called my doctor......that day at work when I had a huge pain in my breast I should have called my doctor.
I am free of cancer now- in remission but I'm high risk for breast cancer.  

Thursday, September 17, 2009

A Flower for U

OK it's not a flower - it's garlic!

Garlic is so good for you and I LOVE roasted garlic
I just read about roasting your garlic in muffin pans and I though it was a great idea.
1. Preheat oven to 400

2. Cut the top part of your garlic so the top of each clove can be seen and covered with olive oil and S&P.

3. Put the garlic in the muffin pan

SIDE NOTE- giggle- check out this bachelor pad muffin pan....hey at least he makes muffins

4. Drizzle Garlic with Olive Oil and then season with salt and pepper (make sure you rub olive oil over each clove)

5. Cover each Garlic bulb with foil

6. Put in the oven until they are soft (mine took about 1 hour)

What you are doing is cooking the garlic until the cloves in side are so soft you can spread them like a jam on bread!
I love spreading the garlic on Italian bread and a sprinkle of salt!!!!
See below these cloves were just squeezed out of their bulb

I have also used roasted garlic in pasta dishes. One simple pasta is easily done with roasted garlic, fresh garlic, fresh basil and shredded parm cheese.


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

A couple things keep going through my mind:

Lucas told me he is unsure what he wants to go to college for
Lucas loves athletes and would love to be a star athlete
Lucas thinks he is going to enjoy Science this year
So I came up with - There is not enough coverage of good people in the news.

Example: NORMAN BORLAUG died this past Saturday
This man was 95 and is responsible for saving a billion people in his life!
This from a boy from a farm in Iowa!

Is this an inspiration? Should Lucas look up to this person- YES! Does he know a thing about him- No.
This is from an article written in 2007 when he received the Congressional Gold Medal:
Has there been anyone else in history credited with saving a billion people? Yesterday Norman Borlaug received the Congressional Gold Medal, America’s highest civilian award. This humble and unpretentious microbiologist and plant breeder is credited with saving over a billion lives through the “Green Revolution.” Dr. Borlaug has spent his professional life introducing crop breeding methods to developing countries that dramatically increased crop yields and saved over a billion people from starvation. And he is still going strong at 93 years of age.
Read the rest HERE

I am but one member of a vast team made up of many organizations, officials, thousands of scientists, and millions of farmers - mostly small and humble - who for many years have been fighting a quiet, oftentimes losing war on the food production front. Norman Borlaug

Lucas should know about this good man.

I'm gearing up for my fast next week and it's going to take a ton of preparation! I'm super nervous that I won't be able to do it:

I need to have a lot of will power
I need to make a week of meals in 1 day
I need to grocery shop for my family and my fast
I need to have everything in order at my house
I need to have something to do with my extra time I won't be spending on food.

I'm still finishing up CLEAN and I skimmed over some of the global warming stuff- I'm not into that at this point. It was also hard to read about all the chemicals in plastic wrapped food as well as the chemicals on our clothes- I was getting a little overwhelmed.

I had an AHHH moment when reading about thinking about food! Food started being bad for us when we started thinking about food! You know what I mean (well if you like food or are addicted to things like sweets, diet drinks, carbs). WE THINK ABOUT FOOD- LIKE A HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH.

That's where humans took a turn........animals don't think about food. Animals eat only because they have to eat to live and they eat when food is available. THAT'S when I thought of LUCAS and other children! Lucas when asked what do you want to eat says "I don't know yet?" Lucas only eats when he's hungry. I eat when bored, when happy, when sad, whenever.
Another thing that really gets me- MILK. In the book DrJ talks about how we are the only mammals that drink milk after breastfeeding is finished. Then we actually take the milk of other mammals for our own. No other animal drinks milk once they have breast fed and gained enough weight. Weird.

I will doing the juice fast to start and see how that goes and move on to a raw diet.

Fasting will mean TAKING IT EASY! I feel real guilty asking the BOYS for help at such a busy time.
If I had my way I would go away- like to my old house and just be alone in pjs everyday after work.....I feel like I need to go away and find my HEALTY.
Can't do that- next best thing..... I pair of new VS pjs! We'll see

VS has some cute boots:

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Saturday, September 12, 2009

You won't believe your eyes.....I guess this is what IBS looks like

Ok when I said I didn't feel good the other morning this is what my stomach looked like by the end of the night:
The next morning:

How cruel to look pregnant at a time I wish I was pregnant. I'm over crying about it I have to do something.

I did get my blood work back (check cholesterol) and my cholesterol is GREAT! GOOD NEWS

I guess I haven't been eating that bad- I'm happy!

I must start cleaning up my eating even more. I will start next week because this weekend (which in the 4th in a row I've backed a suitcase) I'm on the road.

I've been looking into Colon Therapy and Meditation Schools in the Catskill Mountains. The eating part will be fairly easy for me because in the past I have done food combining and detox programs.

I want her to teach me how to be silent

I want him to feed me salad

I want to feel GOOD! Peace out!

Friday, September 11, 2009


It's a sad day. Every morning while getting ready I think about all those people who were getting ready for their day not knowing it would be the last time to hug their kids and spouses, last chance to tell them how much they love them. I love my family a little harder every 9/11.

God Bless America and the men and women who continue to give themselves for our freedom!
There are still parents being lost for our safety God bless and watch over their children.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Back to School and Indian Summer

I really dread back to school! This year Lucas probably needs a homework area other than the kitchen table. So I searched for some ideas and here's some really cool work stations:

A few of those were girly- but I loved some of the organizing ideas
I'm really going to set up some goals for this school year.
Pay more attention- get more involved. It's so easy to just let Lucas go about and do his homework and prepping for school, but I know he would like to do even better this year SO I will HELP more. I will also listen more to complaints and take action at home before making a phone call.

Keep an ear out for Bullying- this is the most stressful but I'm not putting up with it at all. If I have to wake up everyday thinking about a Bully I will! There's no way a kid should have to go to school and have to worry about that!

Family dinner- get more organized and serve GOOD lunches! Use a Thermos more, because Lucas loves soup.

For now Rob has cleared an area for Lucas in our office, but I will get him a personalized area.

OH and I make sure Lucas does his chores!
AND BUY a book on getting into college!

It's good to be where we live for INDIAN SUMMER! I once had a friend who's mother always had an Indian Summer Dinner and it was always so nice to sit outside in the sun as the leave were such beautiful colors! We are so lucky to have it and this year I'm going to CELEBRATE IT!
I'm going to roast pumpkin seeds and attempt to make apple crisp. For my main meal? Not a clue. Maybe this

If I was really on top of my game I'd wear this to bed....... LOL

I'm totally in love with rompers- and I think we can fit some in being we still have INDIAN SUMMER! I especially love it with a leather jacket. I really think a little black jacket is a must for fall. H&M has a cute leather jacket for about $179.00!
Here's a faux for $34.80 at forever21

My favorite ROMPER I could never afford!

On the street of NY Sept 4th................ So far we're having some great September weather!

For fall the 1Shoulder thing is going to be big especially for evening wear!

Guess shoulder and arm exercises will be big as well.
Check here for some exercises:

There are mornings I have a terrible time with my stomach. I've been reading CLEAN- just b/c I had it and now I LOVE IT!
Dr. Alejandro Junger is wonderful and lays it all out in a common sense way.
So this morning after waking up I was fed up!!!!!!!!!!! I will start an Elimination diet as soon as possible and then proceed on to a fast.

I will also start meditating. This was also talked about in the book and I was very impressed. Sometimes our minds do need a rest! There are recordings going on in our head. I wasn't a huge believer in this until I was married to someone who cut me up a lot- I knew the things he was saying were false and chose to ignore them, but what I didn't know is that stuff like that sticks and does affect our being. Every time he cut me up I had to tell myself one of two things: He's an asshole or I'm not that bad. All that combating took a toll and affected me until I got help. So now I believe I'm struggling with telling myself I'm sick. I believe I need to step away from it and meditate.

The deep breathing is still helping me so I'm sticking with that. I'm also being more mindful of my eating after reading MINDFUL EATING.

Exercise has been helping.

I still take the magnesium and fish oil and they are a life saver for me.
And most importantly I PRAY!