The Blessed Mother

Well I'm going to take a stab at witting a couple short stories about the Blessed Mother.

Story 1

Once upon a time there was a young girl with porcelain skin and light golden hair with big blue eyes. This girl came from a wonderful, soft family who guarded and cherished her. The girl fell for a boy with black slick hair and brown eyes who came from a strong family who adored him. The boys toughness conflicted with the girl's family softness. The girl loving them all so much didn't know what to do except turn to the Blessed Mother. The girl was working in a hospital and when she had time she'd go into the chapel and pray to the Blessed Mother. Eventually the boy softened for the girl's parents and the parents actually toughened up some. The girl and boy eventually lived happily ever after.

Story 2

Once upon a time there was a little girl in about 3rd grade. She had a little white face with dark brown hair and little brown eyes. She loved going to catholic school and mostly loved the nuns. She loved their habits and rosary beads. She even liked their sensible leather shoes with the little heals. The girl was learning so much about God, Jesus, and the Blessed Mother and she grew to admire the Blessed Mother. Around this time she learned about dying and heaven and thought about it quite a bit. One day she realized that her mom had the most dainty statue of the Blessed Mother in her bedroom. So when this girl had a problem she would sneak into her mom's room with her little uniform and prayed to the Blessed Mother. She asked for some big favors. She adored her family so much and prayed for them.

Story 3

A grown daughter was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and turned to her religion for some help. It was a struggle to understand everything and how to move on. Seeing the woman's pain her mother offers her daughter a prayer she has said to the Blessed Mother when ever she was in need of help and answers. She took the prayer and said it daily. As time went by the woman got stronger and continued to pray to the Blessed Mother every day. She then started going to see the Blessed Mother before the start of mass on Sundays to say her prayer at church and felt at peace there.

Story 4

A women is standing alone in a hotel room in New Jersey; she had been brought there by her husband, father, and brother to have a 2nd surgery for her breast cancer. The men excused themselves to go downstairs to eat. The women (who loves to eat), she wasn't allowed any food until after surgery. The woman was nervous because this surgery was going to give her more information on her cancer. Her cancer still scared her. So she went through all her prayers and came to the prayer she says to the Blessed Mother. While saying this prayer the Blessed Mother spoke to her. She told her, "This cancer is not going to be your death, but you will need to strong because life is not easy and you will experience things you prayed not to experience." The women felt a bit of relief, but the whole "BUT" bothered her. Was it really the Blessed Mother speaking to her? Why would she make her happy and then throw in a "BUT".

Well the woman had her surgery and it went well and came with good information about her cancer.

So if you haven't figured it out the 1st story was of my mother as a young girl.

The second story was me at a little girl.

The mother and daughter in the third story was me and my mother at the very beginnings of my diagnosis.

The woman in the hotel room was me. What I later figured out was that the Blessed Mother threw in that "BUT" because when I would sneak in my parent's room I would pray to die before all my family members. In third grade I was happy to go to heaven and wait for all my family. I didn't believe I could live through the deaths of anyone in my family. This to me was a message from the Blessed Mother so that I would know it was her speaking to me and that she's known and watched me always. And a message to toughen up!

If you are interested in the prayer it is called:

The "Memorare"

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.

I still struggle with fear of my cancer, but I think of the Blessed Mother and feel better.

I also recently came across my favorite picture of the Blessed Mother I had as a child. Looking at this picture you can see how I could adore her so much. The picture is made of paper, fabric, and netting. It's hard to find something like this these days. I was saving it in case one day I had a daughter, but recently decided to hang it now. It seems a shame to just stow it away.

Sometimes I don't know the best way to get a story out so this seemed the best way.

Yesterday- I didn't go to work. I was a bit tired and Lucas really needed me and it took some work. Lucas just turned 13 so he is at the age where sometimes he wants his mom and other times no. I think that growing pains of getting older are enhanced because maybe he feels like I won't be able to baby him on those days he needs it. Maybe he feels he is being pushed out of the nest. I have been there for him always and since marrying Rob, Rob has been there for him too. Then when all this other stuff happened Rob and I had a lot of work, and decisions to make and Lucas may have felt sad. Although we spoke to him often he still just needs us to be there. So yesterday that's what we did. We did homework together like the old days and it was very sweet.

He did manage to have a fun kid party in the midst of everything.
I see this picture and love his little blonde head and remember when he was a baby.
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I had to explain and apologize for not being able to be myself some days, but that it is all temporary. Everything going on is to cure me as weird as it may seem now. Talking and talking, hugging, kissing and praying can't do it enough with him.

Things I'm looking forward to:
Look Good Feel Better Class- this will teach me how to do make-up during treatment- this program is through the American Cancer Society.
Wig appointment- Hair it is on Front Street in Vestal will hopefully help me find a good wig
These things are important because sometimes I feel like all my girly things are going away for a while.

Today I didn't make it to work - felt tired. So I rested and then ate little amounts like everyone keeps telling me. I also got to try out my new STEP-UPS - Rob and I went for a walk. I think these Step-Ups are going to work...my butt and thighs did hurt a bit.
Other than tired I feel good. No major side effects. I'm blessed.

I'm going to work tomorrow!

I'm dying for some Chinese right now...lol