Thursday, December 9, 2010

Body Image and Healthy Update

Well after last week taking some time off of the gym due to my nerves concerning my hysteroscopy and DandC- (because my uterine ultra sound showed a polyp he's going to remove) - I was suppose to have last Friday. I'm back at it!

I really missed Heather (my gym trainer)- as much as I dreaded going and telling her I was totally so stressed I couldn't get myself to the gym. Well she was great as usual and reminded me again that it's a process and will take time. We did do my measurements and weight- 136.7lbs (lost 2lbs) measurements: 40/33/41 What the heck? Oh well it's a process. I was happy to lost some weight.

My body image is getting better and the other day something really nice happened- I took a shower and seen myself in the mirror (you know my breasts) and I felt empowered- like hey I look different and probably not normal to most, but HELL I earned every inch of it and I'm darn proud of it! It was a great feeling.  I had a wonderful Sunday at mass so my heart could be soaring because of that.

It's hard when you have breast cancer it tears you apart inside and out and takes away a lot of femininity and of coarse there is no sex drive day you are at the gym and you realize you just looked at that guy and felt a little something! You know that feeling you get when you see a real handsome guy? Well I haven't cared much about anything like that in what seems like a long time.

So another little test was tonight at the gym I told Heather in the beginning I didn't need to workout in the women's section - I was fine with co-ed and up until last night I was.

There is a section of the gym where the big guys hang out and do some lifting and I haven't been over there and I'm just getting used to glancing over and enjoying the view. So last night Heather decided it was time to start me on back exercised and she takes me over to the big guy section and she sits down (on a row type machine) and says "You need to hold this and sit up straight and stick your girls out." I wouldn't mind this except tonight I decided not to wear my insert because sometimes it's just not comfortable and it sometimes escapes from my bra cup and settles in my cleavage.

As I watched her I thought - I'm gonna say "Heather- I'm not comfortable doing this one". Well I didn't - I sucked it up and did it with 1 of my girls bigger than the other. THANK GOODNESS the guys at the gym like looking at Heather more that anyone because that was the only thing that saved me.
I was proud I did- I really do want to be comfortable with my body- differences and all! I'm lucky my body has really fought for me and I owe it that much!

Another reason I can feel good about myself is because strong women before me have shown me that all is beautiful!

In other health news- Pilates is going good. I missed one class last week for the same reason of missing the gym- WELL this week I will have my procedures Friday and I'll miss a Pilates class again- Darn! It's so hard, but it's so addicting! I love the Pilate's reformer!

Looks fun huh? It is one of my favorites!

OK - got some blood work back

my hemoglobin is low- 10 (i just started taking iron)

white blood cell count- good

Vitamin D - 31.5 (normal range is 30-80) I was told to take 1000mg daily
I want my Vitamin D to be at least 50 so I increased my D to 5000mg daily
Doc told me to continue with 1000- but I'm making the increase on my own because I can! lol
EVERYONE should check their Vitamin D- MEN AND WOMEN

My BIG blood test will be December 16th after my visit with Dr. Seidman. I will meet with him and give blood where they will look at what are called tumor markers. In my heart I feel like I'm clean, but I still feel nervous and it's never far from my mind. I haven't been good about emptying my mind before bed like I've been told. Sometimes I just get mad and think to myself I'm not going to let this ruin my Christmas stuff!

Eating is getting better - I try really hard to get EXCITED about all the different colored veggies and one way to do this (for us visual beings) is to look at pictures of delicious looking colorful veggies:

Raw Kaboobs
(no it's not a typo- like usual) I'm calling this kaboobs because raw veggies are good for you boobs


Ya know what I'm learning is that LIVING WITHOUT no matter what it may be a boob, sugar, meat, a job, a partner- it can make you stronger and you can have it all with love of self/God.

It's hard to go along merrily when a breast cancer survivor passes and this week it was Elizabeth Edwards. The thing we have to learn from Elizabeth Edwards (an intelligent woman) is that YES you do need mammograms! Elizabeth did not go for her mammogram like is suggested (at 40). She found an egg sized tumor while showering. She would tell you herself that she should have gone for the mammograms.
They know so much about breast cancer; like where it starts and it's path through the body SO it's good to go and catch it early. Breast cancer is one of the better cancers to have- BUT catching it early is the key.
CHECK yourself and Get your MAMO!
This week I've dealt with some anger- which I'm not sure why- everything is going so well- I think in the back of my mind cancer in the news makes me a bit moody!


Sista B said...

Glad you are feeling better. I have those days every month! Hormones are crazy and they are most likely the reason for our ups and downs. Every month, a week before my friend, I have such irrational feelings and thoughts. It's not fair to everyone around me. And all women have issues with themselves. Too bad we couldn't Photoshop them out like they do in the magazines. Anyways, you should be proud of yourself ... for simply being Danielle ... a daughter, a mother, a wife, a sister and a friend. Try to focus on the things that make you feel happy and hopefully the worries will step aside.

Love ya,

maria said...

I am glad you are feeling better! I only can imagine how hard must be that you have to deal with all that situation!
I send you all my positive energy!!! Hope you have a great weekend!!!:)