Well simulation is done and I must say I know now why they say take some meds before hand. It was a lot of time lying in an uncomfortable position! At one point I really wanted to yell: "Get me out of here". I definitely should have brought a relaxing CD too.
My radiation is only going to be to my breast. Even though I have no breast tissue left they think it's a good idea to radiate my skin there, because my skin was involved in my tumor. I had 2 opinions and 1 was for rads to breast, arm and chest area and 1 was just the breast. I am going with the less radiation. I know I had 1 lymph node with cancer cells, but once they took them all out and found no more I consider that a sign that we caught those cells early. Those were cells were in the sentinel node ( the1st node that the bad cells travel to). To radiate my arm would also increase my chances of lymphedema.... I had to weight one against the other. I feel good about my decision.
My arm had to be above my head and that wasn't too bad at first, but then it was not fun. I ended up deep breathing towards the end because my arm felt so stiff. When the guy pulled me out and took all the tape off me; he said I could put my arm down and well I couldn't move my arm. I had to use my other hand to get it down. I don't know how other people do it; I consider myself in decent shape considering.
When you go in they get you on the table and then they tape and mark you and do some simulating. After the first go around they told me they will need to make a cast and it's not a big deal it's just I will need to be there a little longer. The cast they made was very uncomfortable, but OK and a small price to pay for increasing my odds of no local reoccurrence. At one point though they had my "bad" arm taped so tight I thought I could die. I was a little freaked because everything I read talks about taking care of your arm as to not cause lymphedema! I told them and they quickly adjusted the tape.
After that they review the simulation and you just lay there.....and lay there......and lay there
Once they are satisfied they mark you and do your tattoos. I have 5 dots to mark the spot and I don't think I'm the tattoo type. Too much of a baby! Although with my new foob I have no feeling????
My new boob is doing really well. I will not get a nipple for a year! My skin will be going through a lot right now and it will take time before another procedure can be done. I'm really hoping my skin holds up to the radiation; I really don't want any more surgery for a while.
My breast that was reduced is still painful at times. I notice if I'm standing/walking a lot it starts to hurt. I also have to keep all the incisions taped and I change those every day and that can be a real pain. I guess it’s supposed to help my incisions heal. When my Doctor went and put tape right on top of my incisions I thought I would die. I had no idea how the heck I was going to remove them without hitting the roof. He told me that I should talk them off in the shower and they come right off......yeah right. Not right off. I finally have a method to get them off, and I'm healing really well so it's not as bad.
I feel whole again.....most days. There are some days I'm really down, but I'm working on it and its getting better. I had tea with my Survivor friend Barb and she makes me feel better. So many times we have bad thoughts go through our heads and it makes us crazy. Barb gave me a saying - its O.K. to let the birds fly over your head just doesn’t let them make a nest in your hair! Good Saying
Rob's uncle passed away last week of cancer and it was a very long painful good bye. It's so sad to see people suffer so badly from cancer. I think about myself and how I could ever do that.....die to cancer.........I don't think I can.
No comments:
Post a Comment