Well I finally started walking my 2 miles- I'm gonna try and walk everyday.
On my first walk I seen a lot of litter along the way and well I picked up a card- WHY? No idea- but I got a laugh when I turned it over and it read
"Your Key to Happiness"
Monday I start a 6wk Kick my Butt in Gear Program consisting of:
I never updated about the 4Wk program I did, but I actually liked it and found that I was more accountable for myself when I did it.
I lost 3lbs in 4wks which isn't bad considering losing weight is hard for me- either because I'm 40 or my medication- who really knows I just know it's taking longer than it ever has. I may blog more while doing this 6Wk program or I may not blog at all- it's hard to tell. I just know it will be hard because I'm giving up/changing up a lot of eating habits I've grown to love. And when I say grown- I mean in more than 1 way.
Doing this is going to be very hard for me because in all honesty I'm scared- I'm scared that I will start to eat better and take better care and then I'll get sick again and it will prove I have NO control over my body. I know it's not true I do have some control, but I'm not there yet. I feel very betrayed by my body- I thought I was pretty good to my body. Well - I KNOW I wasn't and I had plenty of room for improvement. Now that I am High risk- I must take better care of my body. And if I do get sick again I will hopefully be in good enough shape to get rid of it and take treatment again. I don't even like to think of that, but it may be the only way I FINALLY get my butt in gear. I see/read about people who need treatment, but their body just can't handle it and I really don't want that to be the case. My body did pretty damn well considering all the crap that was done to it. Prayer and probably the fact that I did take pretty good care helped. I am so grateful for my fairly easy treatment. I prayed so hard when I was sick and I still pray, but mostly for others. I will definitely start praying for God's help - I need strength! I need to follow God like I did when I was getting surgery, treatment and so on. The thought of God being there to take my hands and guide me along is so important to me- I can't do it without him. This little fact that I keep overlooking (God will lead) may be the one thing I was missing to actually move on with my life.
ps- I'm also thinking maybe just maybe God left me that Happiness card on my walk!