I miss my Wedding!

When I see older pictures I see the old me. I guess I'll never be completely the same person and that's good thing......Right?

I hear a lot of different saying like "You've moved out of Healthyville"...or.."Kicked off of Cancer Island" It's like 2 different worlds. Can't explain it exactly, but you look at people who don't have cancer and wish so hard you could be them. There's just something about walking around healthy like nothing bad is going to happen. I miss it. Sometimes I forget about my cancer situtation and I almost get into "Healthyville".

But there are some really nice things I do gain- little things do not bother me so much, and I do enjoy really simple things now that I didn't before, also like I keep saying I have learned to pray on a higher level, and I have a lot more tolerance for things and a lot less tolerance for things.LOL

It's like I step out and then fall back in. Everyday I stay out amoung the living a little longer.
I have to say this affects the whole family not just me. Rob experiences it too as well as my parents and our siblings.

When you get married you end up as one, but most of the time I don't know if I really felt it. It was through these hard times that I felt it. The times when we just wanted not to be bothered so we could be alone to process and decompress. Yelling, crying and praying together really does bring you closer.

I wonder how long before Rob can laugh like this:

I wonder how long before I'll feel like this:

At some point we'll step out from under our umbrella.