Monday, January 19, 2009

Pre-teen Boys!

Just last week Lucas said to me "I miss you mom" and "every time I see you I just want to give you a hug" and "remember when we used to play PowerOut together". Then later in the week he said something like this "Maybe I'm just getting older and you guys bother me". I don't get it. I'm just assuming it's hormones and something a boy goes through when it's time to be a little more independent? As I've done in the past I will read up on it.

Going from being with a single mom to a family situation is good, but at times he misses the good old days! Being a single mom you always feel bad for your child. I always did. It's especially hard when you have a boy and a father who little or never around. I did have my father to help out a lot, but it is always different. I remember my godmother telling me that being from a broken home will make Lucas stronger. You also here these children have a better understanding of what not to do when dating and starting a family. This is something single parents think about. But still you see a child does miss out on some stuff.

As I was going to be on my own I could only look to the good, because otherwise I would be a miserable divorcee you hear people make fun of. I took the time I had to enjoy Lucas to the max. I was able to teach Lucas a bunch of things I may have not if I was married. Lucas spent time with me doing just about everything. We had good times and we had times when we struggled. Family functions were always difficult for me because I was alone and as Lucas got older he noticed the difference between us and them. There were times he cried and then I would cry, but we made it through.

I grew a lot when I was alone and Lucas was there for it. I hope it wasn't hard on him.

I'm not sure what life will be like for Lucas not having his father around, but I pray it will be ok. When I have a problem with Lucas I often think what did I do wrong? Or this is it he is now going to have major problems. I get so scared, but maybe it's just normal boy stuff.

I know this is an important time for a boy to have a father around and I am so lucky to have Rob. When I was single I thought Lucas will be ok - how much different can it be having a guy around? Well it is different and Lucas seems to like it. Lucas himself is more "manish". He loves that Rob thinks the toilet seat should go up after 9pm because when they get up in the middle of the night it easier? They do guy things together and I see Lucas grow a little more into a jr man.

I guess it's time for my Lucas to grow up and that's hard for me. So I guess it's hard for him too, but it's something that has to happen. All I know is that I can't wait till this stage is over. I live for the days when Hugs are good again.
I love Lucas so much!Here's a moment when it was o.k. to smother mom.

No comments: