I had my follow up appointment with my radiologist and they ask a bunch of questions like how I'm feeling and if I have any pain. Well I am in the habit of always saying something about my weight and they always brush it off and I get mad. So this last appointment the nurse said to me, "We are always concerned when a patient is losing weight not gaining". "You are lucky you are doing so good". So I realized that this person as well as my doctor see a lot of sick people who probably can't gain weight and are dying and here I sit complaining about weight gain- what a jerk I've been. This whole weight gain has also held back my happiness, because I'm now onto worrying about what I look like and what people think of me. I'm not letting myself enjoy the happiness I deserve after everything I have been through. I don't know what it was that made me WAKE UP, but I have a feeling it may have something to do with St. Theresa. I hadn't been reading my book on her because I'm towards the end of the book and she is dying and I feel like when I'm done with the book she'll be gone. Silly I know, but it's how I feel. So anyways I finally starting reading the book again on my trip down to the city and I felt enlightened.
I am so lucky to have felt extreme enlightenment during my nephew's birthday party. Sam is my Godson and my whole cancer seemed to be around the time he was about to be baptised. The night before my biopsy I attended a baptism class for Sam. So his little journey has reminded me of my little journey. In the beginning of his life I wondered if I would be around to see him grow and now I was sitting here at his 1st Birthday party and other than a cold I felt good; no up coming operation or treatment! I felt such happiness in my heart like never before as we sang Happy Birthday to him.
There is a fun giveaway at
TatorTots and Jello and
you have to check out this beautiful baby girl
at
DearLillieBlog the pictures on this blog are so sweet~
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