Just a quick note

I've been praying a lot. Yesterday I prayed to Jesus for strength to overcome fear. I want to be strong and not so afraid, but it's hard! So I said, "Jesus please send me a sign and let me be able to hear when you are talking to me".

I went on my way and took my shower and got ready to go out to a friend's house. Rob had come in from working out in his Pole Barn and he told me to close my eyes and hold out my hands. He then said he had something for me to help through this whole thing...............he made me a crucifix I can carry in my pocket. I was so happy.

Today was hard in the morning. I need to just be thankful for the mornings and not dread them- it's terrible that I said it's like waking up to a nightmare everyday. That was bad of me to say.

Tonight I talked with a breast cancer friend and she made me feel not so insane. I also am coming to grips with the fact that cancer will haunt me. I'm realizing I can't live like that, but still figuring out how to beat or at least cut down on all the senseless thoughts.

I think tomorrow I'll make an appointment for a haircut- something cute and short. I want it cut before my surgery.
Tonight little cousins are spending the night. I wasn't sure I could do it but I AM! How sweet.

I love my family, everyone is doing so much to help me- It's amazing.