Well a couple of really special things happened.
{this is my St. Theresa picture and on it is a necklace of my grandmother on my nightstand}
Lately I have been thinking - Am I doing all I can with my life. I sometimes feel lonely for the extra time I had during treatment to actually have some deep prayer in my life. So I started asking God to please help me, because at times I feel lost.
So what comes in the mail:
How could this be that such a beautiful article "Transformation- truth blooming within us" comes to me in the mail with a rose on it. She is still with me and I love St. Theresa.
This is an amazing article for everyone to read. You can read it
HERE.
I am lost because I often wonder~ Am I doing the right stuff? ~
Maybe I am being transformed?
here is a portion of the article:
We go through dark nights of the senses and spirit. We experience loneliness, abandonment, doubts about whether we gave our best or did it right. We learn to trust and gain the wisdom of the second half of life that
“everything is grace” – all is given by a gracious, generous and mysterious God Who always is present within and among us and unconditionally loves us. At times, we become like little children – dependent on others for care – even forgetful as we prepare to return to the Source of Life. Our lives are about endless, wonderful, mysterious transformation. Along the way, we can learn to be fearful and mistrustful. We can let others define us and transform us by their actions, presence or absence. We can be wounded by life – betrayed by others – and disillusioned by unmet expectations of ourselves and others, and God! Our needs get frustrated. Our hearts can become hardened. We can be transformed into cynics and negative people – changed from being the beloved daughters and sons of God. And the need to be transformed back to the child-like innocence we are born with and Jesus spoke about becomes more important and urgent for our basic humanity and holiness. Transformation becomes the challenge of being aware, embracing and listening to all that life gives us. Everything that happens within and around us is a gift from God. Transformation is allowing God to embrace us with the mystery of His presence, forming, refining and glorifying us through wonder, love and suffering.
So many things happen that I often wonder about and I now see the Grace in them
~ Like the one night after work I needed to pick of 2 cooked chickens for a quick dinner. I got to the grocery store and there were no baskets- I thought great this is a sign that I'm probably not going to have a successful trip to the store. I continue....as I rushed to the chicken case I seen it wasn't full and couldn't even see one chicken. I thought please at least 1. As I got to the case there were 2. Then I thought great NO basket I should have gotten a cart.... I turn around someone had left an basket by the bread. I then thought to myself "Someone is watching out for". I can't help but think my grandmother is up there watching over me. I miss my Mimi. It was her birthday on Oct.13th and I had thought about going to mass, but at work things get going and I almost forgot until....... my mom mentioned that she would have liked to go to mass for the birthday. We looked at the time and we actually had time to go. At mass I couldn't help, but think that she was there with us. I've enjoy wearing her necklace- when I'm stressed I can grab it and feel better. I believe I feel Grace when I think of her.
~Another interesting story......before reading the article in Between Friends I had a real bad night I was so down about my myself and my body. I spent a bit of time in the bathroom just crying. I also have a personal matter that weighs heavy on my heart and at a loss of what to do about that situation. Rob did a good job of calming me down. That night I read the article "Transformation the truth blooming with us". The next day I woke up and decided I would make time for MYSELF and do some deep prayer. Right after my prayer I had a thought/idea of a letter so I immediately wrote down exactly what came to mind and I mailed it.....I was scared but I thought how could this be bad? I prayed and it came to me. So I went to get ready for the day. I found myself running into Walmart to get a few things and this big teddy bear kind of guy is walking out. He had these beautiuful blue eyes and silver hair- I thought I'm gonna smile today and this guy is gonna be my first one (I still wasn't feeling the smile stuff too much, but I thought I better push myself). Well to my surprise he smiled 1st and then you know what he said to me~ " I'm not as pretty as you, but I'm trying". Now I wasn't all dolled up because my little prayer session cut into my make up session so I honestly think he was some sort of angel for me that morning. I teared up as I walked in the store and then I felt an incredible high. Like the article said~ "Grace is Everywhere"
~Lucas was running for Student Council and I asked St. Theresa to watch over him as he went to school and attempted to hang posters. After the election driving home Lucas and I were talking and he was telling me how he prayed for the election. I told him- That's great you prayed. I mentioned to him that even when I was sick I prayed mostly for strength to deal with what ever out come shall be. But I did also ask for more time to do good. I said to him you can't recieve something unless you ask. I also told him that when we pray God will give us what is best and that may not always be what we want. Grace was there that day in my car.
~Rob had his own little problem he was dealing with and the one day he was on the phone with a man and briefly explained his situation. Now this man wasn't a friend, Rob has never even actually met the man. The man went on to talk with Rob and he told him to pray. He told him to let it go and pray. He also told him that he was going to say a prayer as well. Sometimes I'm afraid to talk prayer and God with people, but what an inspiration this man was. Grace over the phone.
~Driving into the parking lot at Olive Garden I seen 4 people holding each other with their heads down- they were praying. Grace was there.
I hope you find your grace today- and if not do ask for it because HE does deliver.
It's out there- WE just have to open our eyes.
~Prayer~
Dear God
Lift the veil from my eyes that I may see Grace today
Let me be the Grace for others
