Getting ready to get ready for surgery

Dad took me to NY for my Pre-Surgery stuff.

The day started with a Mammogram- on my good side ;) It was my second Mamo- so we all know what went down on my first....Rob and I left that appointment knowing I was going to loose my breast. Thank God Rob went with me that day.

So I was nervous about my mammogram...the wait was hard! I couldn't find my rosary beads so I drew beads on my sticky pad and colored them in as I said them. I was able to say one for my Uncle Guy and one for Lucas. This kept me calm and I felt good after.

When I got the news that my Mamo was good- I was so relieved I couldn't get out of there fast enough. As dad and I were in the elevator he finally asked me why I was carrying my examining gown? Yeah I left in such a hurry I had my examining gown on my arm and forgot to leave it. We had a good laugh.

After that I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon. While in the waiting room I ran into a girl about my age and we talked about implants- it turned out she was there to get her drain out. She had the 410 or gummybear implant and she let me take a peak. Looked good- and she said they weren't as hard as she heard they were. She did say that they are not FDA, but they do have them at the office. She was very nice and we exchanged phone numbers.

So I finally got in to see the doctor and he asked what I was thinking about my implants and if I did any research. I told him I did a little and I was aware he could maybe use the 410 implants. He let me know that they are not yet FDA approved and there are no 20 year studies, but they have been using them in Europe since 1994. These implants are especially good for women in my situation- meaning I am trying to match a real breast. The 410s are nice because they have a shape to them like a tear drop. Before them we only had the option of using the implant that everyone uses and they are just adding to what they already have- we are creating a breast......oh and yeah and we want them to look real not porno boobs............well at least I'm not this time around. So I really liked the idea of the 410s. The other option I like is silicone because they look soft and squishy like I can sleep on them. I'm so longing to sleep like I used to. So if I want the 410s I need to enter into a trial- which will give some one's daughter the 10 year study. Still I wonder if I want to do that.

OK I ended up consenting to both. My doc will bring both into the operating room and he will use the one that is best fitted to me. I guess they even sit you up in the operating room and see what looks better. I'm gonna pray that the right implant ends up in the right place.

I also found out that my other breast will get a lift with a slight chance of a wee reduction. If he does remove any tissue it automatically goes to pathology for testing- interesting.

AND there WILL be a drain! I was hoping no- but yes there will. Yuk. The nurse said it won't be as deep as I've had before. My good breast will probably be more painful than my new one.

The nurse then filled my tissue expander all the way- and I felt it. For the 1st time I felt sore and I was a little worried about it being a real pain. At night it is because it's like there is rock in there. The one good thing is it made me more even and that felt good. I don't look like such a deformity with my clothes on.

They also then took a picture of my breasts.....I asked about seeing my before pictures. They are there if I want to see them...not sure about that.

After that I had to fill out a nice amount of paperwork for the trial. It turned out being real interesting because it had a lot of questions I totally related to and realized I'm not alone in all the craziness that goes on. I also realized that the only body parts I don't have a problem with right now are my nose, eyes and lips. Oh brother. I felt so much better when it actually questioned about bending down and getting back up again- I really thought I was a total slug- but here I'm not the only one.

My 3rd appointment for the day was pre-surgical testing- nothing too exciting there- blood work, weight, blood pressure, EKG, and chest xray. Everything was good- except when she entered my weight - the computer prompted her to re- weigh - WEIGHT CHANGE. Embarrassing! See right before my surgery I did finally lose some unwanted weight due to the fact I couldn't eat after finding out I had cancer. Hence the big weight change. Oh well.

I had fun with my dad- he talks to everyone! I met some really nice women- one of them was there with her husband who was one of the people responsible for bringing us Taxol (my 2nd chemo drug) I didn't hold that against him.

As far as health- I'm feeling more healthy- except for my numb fingers, sore and numb feet and toes. My feet really hurt tonight- and they also feel like they are asleep. This is called neuropathy- nerve damage. I read somewhere that it may not peak until 3 months after your last treatment- hope not. It's pretty annoying already. Not much you can do- I did soak my feet tonight. I will have to research it a little more. My fingers most numb are my index and thumb tips- that's annoying when you try and turn an page or do a clasp on a necklace- I need to be looking at it.

I'm so glad my mom rhythm is coming back. I usually work around my kitchen and house with a rhythm like all moms, but chemo made it hard. I was always doing things so slow and forgetting things. My mind is definitely working better. I'm also not as preoccupied with my cancer.

Monday will be a great day for me because it would have been a Monday that I head to chemo.....oh how I love that there is no chemo. Monday I will be doing a little dance.

I have some pics from my end of chemo gathering and the Saturday Lucas and I spent home doing a lot of nothing. It was great fun. I'll have to post about that later.

Thanks Dad, Mom and St. Theresa for getting me through Pre-Surgery Stuff!!

Doing my 2 miles AM- with hand weights! Oops it is AM

A butterfly is going to happen...right?

Last CHEMO!!!!

Well it's all done- never want to do that again! BUT if I had to I would do it in a heartbeat.

My inspiration board through all this

So leading up to Chemo some things that went on:

My back pain was still bothering me after 3 weeks- went to my doc here and I went alone. Well when he ordered an x-ray- I freaked a little- to myself. Thank God for St. Theresa- I imagined her there holding my hand. I was then a mess until results. Rob sat and prayed with . The x-ray showed the tissue expander in place and my bones look OK. Relief. Was given muscle relaxers and he refilled my zanac for my upcoming surgery. Just in case. I may try and not use it.

Had a breakdown in the fitting room at Target. I went to get filters and seen something I wanted to try on. At one point I got a glance of my good boob in the mirror and started to miss having my breasts. I couldn't get dressed fast enough and get out of there. I wasn't of the best attitude at home and Rob straightened me out.

Last chemo was exciting and scary- because now do I sit and wait to see if I have a recurrence? I could see that happening. I just can't afford to do that. Plus I am still in treatment so I need to think about 1 step at a time.

Praying- has been more difficult lately. I just get so tired with trying to walk and get organized. When I don't pray I don't feel as good mentally. Also when I don't pray I feel like I'm so far from God and I can be a real baby when I don't get a sign that I'm ok.

BUT I did manage to pray for my dear uncle Guy and my friend M from Sloan. M hasn't had her chemo treatment in weeks and was maybe not going to be able to have it. I said a rosary for her this week and when I seen her yesterday she HAD HER CHEMO and was so happy! I will miss seeing M at chemo. She gave me a beautiful journal with bible quotes.

I finally replenished my Blessed Mother's vase this week - oh and Rob moved her.I went to mass Sunday and prayed to the Blessed Mother after mass as well as St. Theresa.

My Blessed Mother was given to me by my food friend Auroa. Remember that name.

My dear Leann- sent me the most beautiful package with 2 little satin bags- She sent me vintage earrings with a matching pin. A book mark of roses and two medallions- 1 of St. Francis and 1 of St. Theresa. Thank you Leann.

A lot of friends prayed for me my dear Liz Fin, Amy sent a great card, Barbara and Bettie checked on me. My friend Tammy checking on me. Marianne and Pat checked on me. Amber was strong with the check texts and as every treatment day sending that days "lucky text". Jen played phone tag with me. Caity and KathyB and friends sent messages checking on me. Lucas friends wonderful mom checked on us and kept us up to date. Uncle Guy and the whole family checked with me. Cousin Damian and Faith, and Missy they got in touch with me. JenJen form tatortotsandjello blog always sending prayers and love. JenJen and I have never met but she has been a great friend through all this. Annie at 5Peas sent me encouragement and good info! Becky kept in touch even through her troubles. Krista phoned in and her husband stopped by. Even little Mallory checked on me- I think? She called Lucas ;)

(Had to through that in to bug Krista) A newly diagnosed women offered help to Rob and I - amazing. Dean, Mary and Corey always supporting and helping us. Vicki my life saver is always there for me. Liz calling me and making me feel good.

For all my facebook friends praying and pulling for me. All the Breastcancer.org women.

Joe and Nicole always giving loving words and telling me they love me. My nephews and nieces who pray for me and make me cards and chocolate cover strawberries. My church group who prayed and kept me updated. My pastor and the Healing Mass at St. James for the healing they have done for me.

Rob's parents always there to help us. Pat constantly looking up info for us, the trip to the city and dinner and the phone calls and telling us they love us.

My dear parents- how sorry I am to have not been the strongest. There endless prayers, rosaries, dinners, clothing, taking care of Lucas. I can never repay you. The days I sat in the back seat of your car driving in the city I felt so bad that you had to take care of me at this time in your life. Thanks for the excited phone call after Chemo and the beautiful flowers waiting for me at home as well as my Pandora bracelet additions!

But most of all thanks for praying and pushing me to be better and giving me my religion.

Rob- I couldn't have done any of the appointments- treatment without. You are so precious to me. The days you hold me as I cry are priceless. The days you took my abuse- I'm sorry. You never turned me down to sit and pray and you actually encouraged me in times of darkness. I love you.

My Rob inspiration...a framed card he gave me

and a bride and groom given to me by Leann

My beautiful boy- he will never know how I would have never made it through everything without him in mind. I never want to leave him and I will fight for my life- I want to see his babies. He has made this journey with me and it has not been easy and I see it when he breaks down and cries for things to be normal again. It will not only be normal it will be better I promise. I know he prays for me and I love him more than my own life. Thank you my beautiful son I love you so much!

My Lucas inspiration: He loves me more than gravity- How cute!

The night before chemo I said my rosary asking for help from The Blessed Mother! Ask St. Theresa to once again help me to see the face of Christ in the people I meet.

So Rob and I went to the city alone- he's a good driver!

I always have to stop for a bathroom and so we got off in Jersey! It was a gas station with attendants. The kind of station that just has a booth type of building. We asked about a bathroom just for the heck of it. And they said they had one in that little building- what? So I go in and all I see is a door that looks like an office door- So I open it. Yeah it's an office. BUT here's the lay out:

To the left is a sink and toilet right in front of the toilet is a desk chair at a desk w/ a computer. In this little room was also a microwave and mini fridge. How weird- you could actually sit on the toilet and work on the computer....LOL

Ok - so as I'm doing my thing- and looking around for a hidden camera- What do I see- a rosary hanging up by the computer. HOW COOL. How many restrooms do think you could visit in Jersey and find a rosary? And that's the restroom we stopped at.

Well ever since I've been diagnosed I really enjoy looking at the sun and I love seeing birds. Birds make me feel so good- no idea why. My favorite birds are the ones that hang out on Dyer street entering NYC. They are always there. Birds and Jewels- Double nice!

Rob enjoys looking for models in the City:

I know the shades trick ;) When we go to the waiting room for my appointments- I've learned to sit by people I don't think are big talkers. I can't handle hearing too much bad news. So we picked a seat by another couple- see couples have each other to talk to and pretty much keep to them selves. So Rob had to leave me because we had a parking dilemma going on. Well don't you know the couple leaves and a woman sits right next to me in Rob's seat. I've seen her before when I was with my dad for a treatment- Dad talks to everyone. I don't know her story. She is skinny (very much not like me) she looks frail and I wanted nothing to do with talking to her. Nice- huh? Then I felt for her as she was on her phone talking to someone she loved, calling her dad to make arrangements for her children for the day, and talking to a friend who was suppose to be meeting her at the appointment. So being that even though I don't want to sit by talkers- I'm a talker. Plus did I just pray to see Christ in other people as in "get over yourself Danielle". I ask "How are you?" She says- "good" We talk about the doctors we are seeing- and in the process of the conversation I find out her cancer has spread to her brain. I think she had breast cancer when her daughter Auroa was 2- she is now 5 this time around with cancer. I was so mad/upset- I hate cancer! I ended up really feeling for this lady- why her? It's not fair! So then her friend arrived and she was off. The good news- She has cancer - it's spread to her brain and she still going! How funny her daughter's name is Aurao- not a name you hear everyday. I feel so bad for wanting nothing to do with her- that's a sin. I won't ever do that again- I pray.

I was nervous about this appointment because my oncologist was not going to be there and I had a female- sometimes I do better with male doctors. Anyways she comes in gives me the low down- I need to take iron again, will meet with my oncologist in 4weeks for Tamoxifen prescription, get a bone density test, and after radiation get a colonoscopy . And then she gave me a hug and sent me off to chemo. I love that she hugged me- it made me feel like a person. I wouldn't mind seeing her again when my guy is out.

Usually my chemo room has a view of another building- nothing too exciting as you can see.

Well this time the nurse told me I got a room with a great view! And it was a great view.

See that little white thing toward the middle of the picture between the two trees?

I had to take a picture! As I was taking it I noticed something way back- A Statue of The Blessed Mother! I know I was meant to have that room that day - Thank you Mary! I needed that.

During treatment I got to put on my 8th Chemo Bracelet! I LOVE it- It's my Pandora bracelet with the pink ribbon! Thank you so much Mallory, Kyle and Krista- I love you guys.

After treatment we walked over to FAO - it wasn't easy I was a little tired and I wore heels! I am determined to wear heels again!

So you know why we went there- I wanted a bear there. I feel in love with him the day before I started chemo. Well he was gone- some lucky kid is probably loving him right now. I did find this other guy who stole my heart. From these 2 pictures you can see me before chemo and after- it took a toll. It is so worth it! I still consider myself so lucky. These pictures however will help me to make my way back to a healthy happy person. It's inspiring to see. I do have to say this- there is a test you can take if you are estrogen positive and node negative- and if the score is to your liking you can skip chemo. Something to remember- that's why early detection is so important - this is why you shouldn't wait till you are 50 for your 1st mamo- don't do that.

Wow this picture is so not nice- motivational though~ I am so puffy :(

After FAO we walked some more and wanted dinner- we decided to take a chance and drive over to Little Italy for dinner at a place we like- Bonito 2. Well we got there and there was a parking spot right out front and the guy at the door told us we didn't need to bother with the meter- YEAH! Lucky for me I had a spare wig in the car because I had terrible hot flashes at the toy store and soaked my wig- GROSS. I had to actually go in the bathroom and wipe off my head and then put that wet wig back on - double gross. Anyway had a spare.

Dinner was good.

Notice the wig change ;) Tip: always carry a spare wig with you especially if you are going through chemopause!

After dinner we walked to find some dessert. We walked by an Italian shop my friend Auroa likes so I sent in just because it reminded me of the last time I was there with her. Well as I'm in there's a box of pictures- who's on top? A picture of St. Theresa- the only St. Theresa in the box I looked.

Thank you St. Theresa- I love you!

Last night I slept with my bear- maybe foolish but it made me feel good.

His name is MILES- because of all the miles we have travel through all this.

This post was extra long! I just wanted to document this very special thing- finishing Chemo!

Last but not least please pray for the moms fighting for their lives today.

Love

Danielle

ps- Chemo is DONE!!!

Breast Implant, Breast Reduction, Radiation, Food, Exercise, ChemoPause and Rob's getting better looking!

I got some great advice from other cancer patients and one of the best tips I got was from Lucas' Aunt Liz- PAINT YOUR NAILS! I called Liz when I was bald and not having a good time of it. Liz is a very bubbly upbeat fun person. She suggested I get my nails done and through this whole thing- I kept my nails painted. I was lucky I didn't have any nail side effects- but if I did I wouldn't notice it as much being they were always painted. Plus painting my nails was a real girl thing to have when every thing else was falling away from me.

Well I am going for Last CHEMO Monday and now I will be focusing BIG time on me and my health. I feel my body has taken a blow and I am so lucky that my body handled everything so well. My body is wore out and just plain tired and slow moving. I breath heavy and my legs are week. My arms are heavy and my eyes water a lot.

So I need to start the uphill battle of nursing my body back to health and then shape. I need to definitely eat better and start exercising everyday. During treatment - I couldn't handle exercise or eating better- it was too hard for me and I didn't think it was fair to my body which was working so hard. Everyone is different though and some people exercise and eat good the whole time. In my heart I didn't feel it was fair to my body after not eating that well or exercising so much to put it through chemo and new eating and exercise.

I'm a little scared about being able to get back in shape as I have gone through CHEMO PAUSE- ovaries were shut down due to chemo and caused me to go into menopause. I may come out of it but, once I go on my pills to stop estrogen I will most likely have no more periods. So I'm wondering if this will make it harder for me to lose weight. BUT then I look at my mom who has gone through menopause and she's a bit over 100lbs!

Here we are St. Patrick's Day 2009

Here we are St. Patrick's Day 2010
I have a little work to do - but actually I still see me in there so I will get there!
Gee I think Rob got better looking over the past year ;)

LAST CHEMO APRIL 19th- can't stop thinking about-

Well I have a new surgery date- May 18th
Mammogram on my left breast- April 26th
Tissue Expander Fill- April 26
Pre-Surgery Consent and Testing April 26
Radiation Simulation- June 10th
Radiation to Start- June 14th or June 21

There's a lot going on- and I just want to be SUPER happy for my last chemo!!!
Last Chemo is a big deal- because I am really ready to be done with IV and crap following having those toxins in my system.

I really need to eat better and exercise a lot more. I am hoping that in the 4 weeks before my surgery I can exercise every day and eat better. I am planning on water aerobics 3 days a week and reg aerobics 2 days. I am planning on walking everyday 2 miles. I hope and actually must do this!!!! The 2 mile walk kills me- I love it but I hate the time I spend walking because I think of other things I could be doing. So I think I've come up with some ideas- Listen to a book- the book will have to be motivational or health info. OR I can say my rosary while walking.
Food- I need to just have 2 breakfasts menus- 2-3 lunch menus, and 5 dinner ideas. They have to be easy and organic.
I will do this type of eating until I understand what I really need to eat and get better at fitting in all I need to stay cancer-free

What I learned in my reading is that supplements are not nearly as good as getting them from our food. I was a big supplement taker an now I will only get my vitamins and minerals from food. I will continue take my vitamin D till I do more research- on testing my level of D and how to increase it. Vitamin D is very important for women and we usually lack it. Also need to research the Vitamin B - type and amount.

I want to eat the NEW Food Groups:
Grains
Legumes
Vegetables
Fruit

I'm still reading The China Study and Breaking the Food Seduction- the following clip is from the author of Food Seduction- (it's long)

I'm really setting high expectations- I am the personality type that needs to do something every day or I don't do it. The problem I will run into is burning out. I need to learn to be easier on myself when I miss a day or eat a piece a chocolate- the important thing is that I do as much of this healthy lifestyle I can.

I have been vegan once before in my life and I hope to do it again. It will be hard but now it's a matter of fighting cancer. I need to make my body a place where cancer cells don't feel welcomed.

Here's a great simple snack- instead of just a plain old apple:

Jennifer Griffin's Brave Fight

Jennifer Griffin's Brave Fight

What a great day!

I had a great day going into to do some work today. Some paperwork came out pretty good!

I was so happy!

Then I went to one of my parent's stores and they were excited to show me the new PINK BUCKETS!!! For every PINK bucket sold KFC will donate .50 to Susan G Komen Foundation!

gee- i never wanted to put my picture bald on here- especially with no make-up

I was just so happy!

Please buy a bucket!

My beautiful brother entered my name- I LOVE MY BROTHER

There she is 1 in 8 Danielle Podrazil

HAD 2nd Opinion on Radiation....well she suggested more rads than the other doc. Well- I need to look at the benefit of radiation on my arm and compare it to the risk of getting lymphedema. Right now I'm thinking I just want radiation to my breast and NONE to my collar bone and arm. Gee it's so hard to make a decision- NOT to get something because I'm fighting to beat this. Also I'm scared to leave Sloan and having radiation there will be hard on my family. And I think what if I get cancer again and then we will have done all that and I don't really gain anything or die. It sucks. I only have thoughts of not making it when I'm on the pc and I read discussion boards and I come across something like this "Crap it's hospice for me" that was written by a mom 47! I hate this cancer. I need to be so thankful! We all need to be so thankful. That mom was gone in 2 months of that post.

Well onto something great- After that second opinion I was so confused and scared. I went to healing mass with mom and I prayed for some help with making a decision.

Like I said before my situation was a little rare- 1 node positive with micro cells. Well I searched and searched on my pc and I found a girl with 1 node positive with micro cells!!! How crazy is that. I was lucky enough to be able to send her a private message and she wrote me back!!! Guess what? Her dad is a radiation oncologist! Yes- how blessed am I? She confirmed what I thought- the risks of getting lymphedema were greater than the benefit of rads to my arm- because they took all the other nodes out and they were negative. She had 21 nodes- I had 14. She ended her message to me with BLESSINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Think there's not a GOD think again!

Well here are some things I'm loving

Carolyn Lynn Calter

Chanel temp. tats! How cute- I think Sarah Jessica P. wore these

I need one of these in my back yard

thanks MSN Style

NICE
thanks debutnewyorkblogspot

DREAMY Summer NIGHTS

OLD TIME Dressing

thanks MSN STYLE

Still working on my radiation set-up. It's good I know I will get radiation. Nothing else has changed with prognosis- this all part of an insurance policy and peace of mind for us. I had some skin involvement so we just want to make sure there is nothing left to cause problems.

Monday we are going to NY to meet with my plastic surgeon to discuss my implant. My surgeon wants my implant in before I start radiation so that surgery will probably move up to the end of May.

Last chemo APRIL 19th!!!!! Wait till you see my last bracelet from Kyle- Krista and the girls! Will I get my bear- stay tuned.LOL

Hey Krista - I got to see Kyle on his last visit here and we hugged! LOL you've got a great hubby. Love you guys.

Sometime after my last chemo and before my surgery I'm dreaming of meeting some girls out for frozen dacaries!!!! YUM

I want to be a girl again! You seen the picture- I could pass as an old man. The other day I didn't wear my wig and some guy said to Lucas and I "Hi- boys" Oh brother.

ANYONE IN?

LOVE YOU

Treatment 7 Done- Only 1 more!

I'm so excited that #7 is done! My dear dad took me to treatment today and this was the first time I got home when it was still light out. I loved spending time with my dad- He is great!

It was a great day. I did get to see my friend M there. I'm going to miss see her every time. She is great. We talked a lot about changing our lifestyles - like exercise and eating. It's very scary and we wonder how we are going to do it. It's hard enough working and preparing without trying to figure what foods should always buy organic and which you don't have to. Now I have to work on healthy recipes. I have started a note book for myself but I still am confused as to the best way to set it up. Also I don't want to over do it and fail. I need to start with like 2 meals a week and 1 soup. And a veggie and fruit every day.

I'm still confused on the water thing. I now don't want to use plastic water bottle unless I'm desperate. What's with the water cartons I've been seeing on TV?

Then there are times I hear of someone doing everything right and still have cancer come back...Well the eating good will only make me healthier for sickness that may come my way. Let's face I am going to have to get something that kills me and gets me into heaven.LOL

I just want to sort of look healthy.

I have been walking more- but you'd never know it. I may have to look into a book on menopause.

Some of my cancer friends had scares these past couple of weeks and they are all ok. My dear friend lost her mom and I will be praying for her. She had helped me a lot and still does.

I have some back and rib pain that I am not enjoying. I'm going to give it sometime before I freak out and insist I need a scan or something. I remember hurting myself in our closet so I hope it is from that.

HE HAS RISEN

Have A Blessed Easter

Radiation is yes.

Well my doctor (radiation oncologist) recommends radiation to my breast (foob). I will only need it to the breast where my tumor was. He couldn't give me any stats because there were none for my case. It's rare that my tumor attached to the skin. It attached but hadn't come through - if it had it is normal protocol to radiate the breast. I also had some lymphatic involvement- very small isolated amount but it was there.

No radiation to my arm- THANK GOD because I'm a candidate for lymphedema. I have to be careful with my arm where they took 14 nodes out. I take certain precautions. Radiation to that arm will increase chance of lymphedema. So we were happy about that.

I'm super nervous about my implant getting ruined and then having to go on to reconstruction with my own tissue. And then there is a chance I won't be able to reconstruction at all. YIKES

But very much ok- because I would be alive and that's what's important.

I'm getting a second opinion- well sort of. I'm trying to find out if another facility could do the same radiation. I will def have radiation as Dr. Powell suggested because he is very knowledgeable and I trust him.

I'm also doing some research on radiation after mastectomy- because it is sort of on the edge- meaning some are for it and some are not. To me with what I have they can't possibly know if I will have recurrence on my breast -but I would feel more at peace knowing I did all I could to stop it.

I'm a bit worn out because going to appointments like this make me nervous- I don't much like going over my pathology report. I'm always in the category as YOUNG and AGGRESIVE and now RARE bothers me. I guess being young and having an aggressive tumor calls for aggressive action.

So Monday is TREATMENT 7- so excited!!! I'm excited to wear my #7 bracelet made by Mallory and I think I'm going to wear one of my scarves my friend Krista sent me.

Thrusday is my 2nd appointment with a radiation oncologist

And the following Monday April 12th is my appointment at the plastic surgeon's office- which will be sad because now I need radiation.

I'm so thankful for my friends! Amy came to visit. Vicki is always checking on me! Amber even when she's down checks on my. My Doctor who found my tumor actually called to see how I was doing. High School friends pray and check on me. Carrie always gets emails and cards out to me and today seeing a picture of Lucas' little sis was a treat! I always wanted to have a sibling and it's great to her little face.

Rob's grandma always calls and leaves sweet messages and tells us she loves us.

I'm amazed at how JenJen keeps me in her thoughts.

Our Nephew Nolan and Nana making me an Easter card and choc cover strawberries!

My Niece Natalie gave me a beautiful plant in an Easter basket!

Very thankful for my Mom, Dad,my bro and Nicole, Rob's mom and dad, Becky and Jason.

ALSO ROB and LUCAS who I know are getting sick and tired of me. I promise I'll be back!

I know I've forgotten someone, but I'll remember!

I'm trying to perk up for Easter, but this whole radiation thing has gotten me a little down and researching info on the web can be very upsetting to me.

So I'll try and get outside some with Lucas.