I was stressed about Lucas and his Confirmation retreat. Lucky for me on the day of the retreat I met with my Doctor friend. Lucas ended up calling me saying he wanted to leave retreat because all they did was sing and some other stuff he didn't feel comfortable with. I wasn't sure what to do....so I decided to at least take a ride to the retreat location just to be closer to Lucas and thankfully the Doc decided she would go with me. I just wanted to get there and see what I felt. I know it sounds strange, but I honestly have been trying to trust more in my feelings and instincts and so far it has really helped me a lot. I think part of being authentic is really listening to your heart and your God. I prayed about this retreat and I waited and waited for a sign. I was on the fence about sending Lucas, but I went along until something told me otherwise. As we were waiting for the bus I seen a couple people who touched my heart; one was a local BU college student (female) and the other was Joe a man I've met before. I spoke with the girl first and she was such a beautiful girl inside and out. Joe spoke to me as always and I can tell by his kind eyes he is a good man. As Joe was leaving he asked us to pray for him and I had a sense he meant it. Rob did practically threaten everyone to watch over Lucas and if anything happens to him......... So that too had me feeling a bit better. If I didn't have Rob to lean on as well as quiet me down when needed things could have gone differently.
So anyway back to the story. We drove to Sky Lake which is about a 30 minute drive and it was beautiful to spend time with my good friend. As we got into the property there isn't much not to love with all the trees and fresh air. This is a place I had checked out the day before as well- so I would know where it was when I had to pick-up Lucas. As we wandered about and looked at the lake I decided he should stay and the she agreed.
In the end Lucas admitted that yes he was glad he stayed as he enjoyed mass and confession. He really liked Sky Lake as well and wished they had gotten to do more outside. It was too bad the organizer wasn't the best fit for Lucas and wasn't the most prepared, but at least Lucas enjoyed the important parts.
I'm so lucky to have so many wonderful around to support me with such stuff. I feel so blessed. It was such a blessing to have Doc with me as she was an angel of a friend. I don't know many of my friends who would have the time to drive out to Sky Lake as I try and make up my mind, but she did. As her and I decided to check out the Founder's Lodge we were sitting in the Lodge when it started to fill up. A lady came to me and was handing me a book in which I said- Oh no that's OK. Well she looked at me like I was strange so I said - Oh wait I mean yes- thank you. Well it was book of hymns. As we sat it was clear we were in a service. The singing began and her and I just went along. At one point I had to smile....here I had been waiting for a sign from God and now I'm standing in a Lodge singing hymns with the Doc- I looked over at her singing right along with me and thought - GOD is so good....I asked for help and as hard as is it to just wait and be quiet to listen I did with the help of my family and friends and I got an answer. Sometimes we get so caught up in a problem and it's super hard to keep our mouth shut or our mind from reeling, but we need to calm it down to hear.
This is the hymn I feel in love with~ It's so beautiful:
The service was I believe Methodist and was very nice- I enjoyed it a lot.
Here are the words:
Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,
will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?
Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?
Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?
Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean and do such as this unseen,
and admit to what I mean in you and you in me?
Will you love the "you" you hide if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you've found to reshape the world around,
through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?
Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show.
Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me.