Lucas Raymond

  Today is my Baby's Birthday!!

I'm so very proud of my 17 year old!  He has worked hard in school, played sports, made friends, participated in church, helped people and gave his family so much love.  I know he will do more great things in years to come.

I love him so very much.  I could never do for him what he has done for me....but I'll keep trying! 



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Oh it's been busy, but an update of sorts

De-cluttering is coming to an end, the house is being built and I hurt myself.  I'm moving slower than usual and the de-clutter is going slow, because of my injury.  Bending over is pretty painful, but I'm working on getting the medicine routine down to cut down on the pain.  :)

I did manage to do an update on my progress with my Foob life over at PlanetFoob:
http://planetfoob.blogspot.com/2013/08/an-update.html

It's the holiday weekend- Have fun in the sun!

It began....some might say- FINALLY!

To Build Our Home

Oh we're getting closer!

Fingers crossed they start to dig tomorrow

This is how meetings had been looking at the homestead

We finally decided on a foundation guy

My father filled in the old pond

Yep - that's where a pond once sat!  It's a little freaky to stand there.  

I just love it up on the hill 

The most beautiful thing is that it makes me think of God

He is everywhere, but I feel the beauty of all he created when I'm there.  

I never thought I'd love a place this much. 

To Build a Home

yeah we are pulling our hair out......

Building your own home during your husband's busy time is hard
Building your own home when you never it did before is hard
Building your own home when you have a wife that can't make a decision is hard
Building your own home when things aren't cheap is hard
Building your own home is just a lot of hard work

And it's not like we are physically building it with our own two hands!  Well actually that sounds somewhat appealing and easier at this point.

SO~ there is movement and history is already being made on that little peice of land we will call HOME!

 There's my daddy~ helping us out as always!

So we've had our first good news announcement at the homestead!

Lucas tells Dadone he's passed his driver's test!!!  Yahoo!!!

Oh these two.  I can remember when Lucas was so tiny and would call my dad his partner.  :)  I love these two and I'm so glad I got this memory with my phone!

So the update on where we're at.  We have our builder who we love.  My father has helped us fill in the old pond behind our land and is moving dirt around for us.  Rob is sketching out/investigating where a pond can go, figuring out the foundation stuff and maybe going to be ordering our framing package.  We almost settled on who we will have do our foundation.  Once we break ground for the foundation we might stop pulling our hair out.

And other news- I finally know the kitchen style I want and I'm so relieved and scared- I hope it can happen!  I have some great hopes for my kitchen because let's face it I love to EAT!

Also I'm in love with the concrete floor at JCPenney - now our JCP has this floor

Not bad - I even like it like this- but it needs it's gloss.  Well while in Hershey I went to JCP there and here is what I floor should look like at our store eventually.

Beautiful to me!!!!  I hope we can eventually do something like this in our basement!!!

I really loved these stops in random areas- but Rob told me those are flaws- Oh well.

Back to JCP- I'm loving our store.  The people there are SO nice and who ever does the merchandising is wonderful as well.  The Hershey store could learn a thing or two as our store is just so well set-up!!  Not to mention their dress selection was no where near what ours is.  I love our store.

Here's a couple of things that caught my eye (JCPenney in JC)
I love how they set up the kitchen area...... I wish they would do some demos there!

How about these cutting boards?

Jars- I'm always on the look out for jars!

 And I feel in love with this lamp- the tall black one.

 I also like this one as well

They really have some really nice stuff

I Have A Dream

I know we all have dreams, but I have a lot of them.  Not the dreams we have while sleeping, but the ones we have while awake.  When we're kids we have different dreams and sometimes they work out and sometimes they don't.  Somewhere along growing up and living life some of us lose our dreams or even stop having them.

I would have to say I still have times when things/ideas come to me, but I quickly move on.  After being hit with cancer dreams can seem pretty silly or even impossible.  So I wondered- Is it better to not keep having them?  I think about this a lot and then one day I decided to act as if I was going to attempt to make my dream come true.  There is a part of town where I live that takes me back to so many good memories from high school.  There was a woman who ran a shop called Jan's and I loved it.  It was a bit run down and it had boho or hippie type clothing.  My best friends and I would go there and have a ball.  As time went on and my friends had moved, I still would go in there just to feel the feelings I had when I was there with my friends.  So Jan's is long gone, but when I drive by there I always admire the little group of building still standing there pretty much empty.  I love how the buildings are so close to the river.  I have a memory of attending a Christmas party over that way at an attorney's home that was located right near the water and it was just beautiful.   You could go out their backdoor and they had it so nice with the river right there.  As I thought about my love of the area I thought it would be so nice to have a restaurant or something right there by the water.

I decided after a trip to Sally's I would head back over there and take a closer look at the buildings and the river.  So I parked my car, put my money in the meter and made my way towards the buildings.  Oh they were pretty run down and not very big at all, still I loved seeing them.  I was a little sad/excited they were vacant, but a restaurant probably wouldn't be doable.  Anyway I continued to walk over the bridge and towards a little sitting area and there he was Mr. Martin Luther King giving his "I have a dream" speech.  This was so funny to me as I have been thinking more and more about my own dreams.  At times I feel lesser in society it's stuff I put on myself for sure, but it's still there.  I'm living on borrowed time, I'm lucky to even be here are things that run through my mind.  So when I seen a Martin Luther King standing there fighting for a people who others thought to be lesser or not entitled it made my heart flutter.  See anyone standing up for himself or herself and others and actually stating a dream is very touching to me.  Could you imagine standing up and saying "I have a dream"  and then actually saying it?  That to me is pretty scary.  Seeing this statue tied everything together for me.  Dreaming is good because it means we are alive and we are still thriving.  Our mind is healthy and it has ideas, hopes and dreams to share.  Even if my dream never ever comes true it's nice to have and it may even be nice to share.  It takes some guts to share a dream, but if someone shares a dream with you; you should feel so blessed.

After I stood for a bit with Mr. King, and after someone commented on my running pants I decided to move on.  I made by way back over the bridge and started down a driveway down towards the water.  As I was passing a building I was startled by a guy I wasn't thinking would be there.  So he said hello and I said hello back.  I told him how pretty it was back by the river.  He informed me that yes it was and that the restaurant he was working for is going to be putting a deck back there for their diners and live music.  Oh I could vision everything he described to me.  He then asked if I had ever been to the restaurant and I told him I had not.  Well he offered to show me inside- yeah I know- Rob already yelled at me for 1. Going somewhere where no one would think to look for me 2. Talking to strangers by the river and 3. Going into a building alone.  I know I know- but I have to go with my feelings.  We went in and it was adorable and I loved it.  I met the owner and his father and they were the nicest people.  In their eyes you could tell they were just good people.

I told them they had a beautiful place and that I would definitely be back.  Well when I left there I had the urge to call Rob right up and tell him to be ready to go out for dinner by 8.  The restaurant has Thia food which Rob isn't crazy about, but I knew he would like the place as well.

It was such an interesting little experience for a Saturday morning.  I thought about dreams, I end up seeing Martin Luther King, and then I end up standing in someone's dream come true.  The owner of that restaurant had a dream and it came true.  Being around people who are good, hardworking and making dreams come true is really a joy.  Something like this just makes me happy. 

And check out this big bowl of lovely soup!!

 

 

Yes, we did go to dinner and although Thai cuisine is not Rob's favorite he liked the place and people as well.

 

And so I'm going to keep on dreaming................

Camel Pose

Benefits of Camel Pose:

• Reduces fat on thighs
• Opens up the hips, stretching deep hip flexors
• Stretches and strengthens the shoulders and back
• Expands the abdominal region, improving digestion and elimination
• Improves posture
• Opens the chest, improving respiration
• Loosens up the vertebrae
• Relieves lower back pain
• Helps to heal and balance the chakras
• Strengthens thighs and arms
• Improves flexibility, especially in the spine
• Stimulates endocrine glands
• Releases tension in the ovaries
• Stretches the ankles, thighs, groin, abdomen, chest, and throat
• Cures constipation
• Tones organs of the abdomen, pelvis, and neck
• Complements overall health and well-being

Besides losing weight I did have a goal of once again be able to do this camel pose.  Years ago I finally got to a point of being able to do the pose.  Well it has been years since I've attempted it and I have given myself a goal of doing it again.  I'm getting close, but it's hard.  I'm not quite sure why I wanted to do it again- maybe because of the chest opening it offers.  When I read the benefits it only made me want to do it even more.

I keep getting down about losing my last 10 pounds, but I think I'm getting over it.  It has taken me a few years to get to this place I'm at  AND all of the sudden I'm not happy about it- REALLY?  Since when I'm I entitled to feel bad not being able to lose 10 pounds?  I've had cancer- I know people who have died of cancer and I'm concerned about 10 pounds?  What a jerk I can be.  Life is getting more back to normal, but I get stuck between feeling guilty for feeling normal and worried that if I do start to feel normal I will soon be brought back down to my knees by something like cancer.  What am I suppose to be?  Let it go?  But what if it comes back?  Worry about it and miss some quality time?  I'm VERY sick of it plain and simple.  Yeah I'm an over thinker- that's why I tend to need stuff to keep my mind occupied.  Trying to lose this weight has keep my mind busy.  Who knows- but I'm sure I'm not the only person with this mind issue...lol.

So I do look back at how far I've come to be Danielle

Aug 2011

 

Our most recent date

July 2013

 

I love these guys so much and they are so important to me- I will continue to fight for health

 till God sends for me and maybe I should just leave it at that?

 

Really fitting in getting fit

We are all busy and trying to find time to exercise can be very difficult.  We have our jobs, family, chores, and then by the time we take care of all of that we are tired!

Rob and I are working on getting our house built, so we more things to take up our time.  Rob's schedule is always crazy so trying to get together for something is also just plain hard.  He's so busy with work and I'm busy with the usual stuff.  When we decided to be our own general contractor we knew it was going to be time consuming and we would have to be somewhat organized- OK a lot organized!

That's when I decided to do what I do when preparing for a project- I started nesting.  I began with Rob's office.  Well it's really "our" office.  I'm still working on it as there is always papers, papers and more papers.

So in order to take it up a notch with my workouts and still manage to see Rob, I decided to make sure I could do some of my workouts at home and for that to happen I needed room and convenience.  So here's what I came up with-

I cleared the middle of the office so there was some room to workout

 

I cleaned up my desk area making it workout friendly

Then I made sure stuff was always READY and AVAILABLE!

 My mat

My DVDs and weights

 

I can easily play my DVDs on my laptop

 

I have my cute mason cup

 

 

My crown...lol.  I have my ToneItUp binders

 

 

I tried really hard to merge our stuff and I hope Rob is as happy with it as I am. 

 

It's nice I can fit in my fitness and be around my family not at the gym or in the basement.

 

So now I can roll out my mat get my DVD going or just do weights.

Oh and time with Maggie as well

 

 

Finally a dress and a pair of shoes!

Well I hadn't posted a dress picture in a while.  Still trying to get to a goal weight!  I guess maybe I'll go back to my Fridays of dresses....and weigh-in.  

I have an outdoor party to go to and I really like this dress, but I'm not so sure about jumping around and dancing in it.  We'll see. 

I got some money for my birthday and I found this cute dress and wedges at Boscov's!

It's not often I will dare to wear something strapless, but I'm thinking I can do it.  I will have to do a couple of tricks, but it should be OK.  :)

The wedges were on sale~ they had some other cute ones as well.

Blue and Green eyes!  :)

Maggie thinks I'm nutz

I'm also thinking about a new hairstyle- Oh boy- To Be Continued...

GOD

I have to post this as it's one of those things I want to always remember.  I rely a lot on God to guide and support me, but that doesn't mean I'm constantly praying and not even everyday like I'd like to be.  No matter when I do need him he is there and sometimes it's so in my face it's scary and really unbelievable I'm sure to many.

Lately a few people I know with cancer have been struggling and I am trying really hard not to get into any more cancer stories and trying to not follow some so closely.  I will check for updates so that I can pray accordingly, but I'm just not as strong yet to deal with all of it.

Since being sick I get lows - I not sure when they will happen, but when they do they are hard.  The first person who gets it is Rob.  I may not say anything, but he'll know.....and eventually it will come to a head.  I just say everything I'm scared of or thinking about.  It just comes pouring out because on top of some everyday life issues I'm thinking about things like dying, cancer coming back in maybe my brain, other people getting cancer, how I will handle it if it does come back, how will I die, and I'm doing things like reading about cancer, touching myself trying to feel if cancer is growing where my latest ache or pain is.  And I'm also thinking about people I love and being scared for them as well.  It's horrible sometimes.

Well one day it was starting again- I had a pain somewhere and I was freaking out in my head. What really makes these times really difficult is having to do something important or rushing around trying to get things done.  I guess I just get totally stressed.  Everyday things can seem so hard.

So I'm in the car with Lucas and I'm trying really hard to listen to what he is saying and stop getting crazy in my head.  I could just feel I'm so on edge I may just snap at him-  my poor boy is just trying to tell me something about school work and I'm ready to totally explode.  I fought so hard not to snap at him- because like most kids he can be not so nice when he says things.  But that doesn't make it right to unload my crap.  I ordered a pizza and we had some time to wait so I asked him to go in Family Dollar with me; thinking that would really keep my mind from reeling.  I really didn't know what to do.  My first instinct when this happens is to call Rob and let it release from me- but after the last time I could see it was not fair to him either as he has worries too.  I couldn't think of anyone I felt comfortable talking to about it, but I wanted it gone out of my head.  So Lucas didn't want to go in the store with me and I was in no mood to try and beg him- I just didn't have it in me.  I went in myself....I stood there for a minute in the cleaning section and I said to myself "just keep it together, keep walking, don't cry, look for Brillo".  I then asked for God to help me- and I believe I said an Our Father.  So I continued to walk around almost crying when I got to the an aisle and there was a lady standing there with a shopping cart.  We looked at each other and although I wasn't my normal peppy self I said, "Hello" and she said it back to me.  I was still searching for Brillo and then this older woman says to me, "Do you read?"  And I thought it was weird, but she was a sweet lady so I told her I did.  I wasn't sure if she got a free book in the mail she was going to give me or maybe she couldn't read a label......but then it hit me.  I had an idea it was going to be religious and it was.  She pulled out her church's religious booklet and she said something about people are rushing, rushing these days and this article is very good.  The article was about Patience.  She then told me to keep the booklet which is how they promote their church..  But then she said to me, "Turn to scripture for help".  And she went to go on her merry way.  I was shocked- I know you may say that was a chance thing, but when was the last time someone came up to you right after you begged for help?  A person of Faith in God pushing religion shared something with you at Family Dollar?  I was touched, shocked and it felt so unreal to me.  I must have still been baffled because when I got in the car Lucas said to me, "What's wrong with you?"

The message I got was to patient- I can't keep thinking about things to come.  God will be there no matter what is to come and when it's bad I feel like I'm going crazy I can turn to scripture.  I need to learn to ride these waves of anxiety.  I was able to calm down after my episode in Family Dollar and I did it all myself..... no not really God was with me and listened to my plea.