Bad attitude

Lately I haven't been walking...........I don't know why.... I was having pain with my reduction breast so maybe that's why.  I mean my breast felt like it was going to fall off and sometimes it just burns not to mention my nipple sends me to the moon.  OK enough- but my mastectomy didn't hurt this much.  Enough!!!  I also am tired a lot on top of fighting depression-  Hence my bad attitude!  Exercise is so good, but sometimes it's such a chore to get away and do it.

I did manage to get out and walk yesterday with Lucas so that was nice- even though he doesn't let me dance, take off my hat or do the Booty pop pop pop!  I'm obsessed with the Booty popping mom on Jersey Couture.  The mom in a dress shop in Jersey does a little dance when a client puts on a dress that makes their booty POP (look good).  I guess you have to see it.  
Here's some sights from 2 mile walks.........Candy Land- how mean!

Here where I let myself jog (used to).  I wasn't suppose to be jogging but I often feel like running away and jogging is the only thing that helps with that!  I started out only going the length of the guard rail, but as I got closer to surgery day I did some more  ;)

Cute huh?

It's so pretty where I live...........never appreciated as much as I do now!

OK..........this little tree reminds me of me.  One day it was probably just standing around and BAM the earth just started to shift right under her roots.  See how she just adjusted.

This is one of my fav of the walk- Some guys tie!  I wonder what kind of night he was having.  Maybe he was at a wedding and his girl walked off with her old boy friend.  This poor guy ended up leaving the wedding alone and after cranking the radio took his tie off and threw it out the window in pure madness.

Here's the sign I walk to - not really exciting I know...

Tomorrow I'm off to have my simulation for my radiation.  I will get my picture taken, xray, cast made maybe, and tattoos.  I read that I may want to take a pain pill like Tylenol, bring music, and maybe even anxiety medication?  I don't know about all that..........but I know I will be talking my clothes off from the waist up so I may pack a warm pair of pj bottoms to wear.  Tight jeans just don't sound fun for a 2+ hour simulation appointment.  We'll see.  I'm a little scared about my tat!  My friend Amber joked with me- your first tattoo and it's going to be from radiation...what a bummer.  Well I would have never gotten a tattoo to begin with so maybe this will get the ball rolling? lol

Booty pop pop pop........Booty pop pop pop- I can't stop singing that and doing it....LOL

BOOBS of a 40 year old

This bra is special because it is wonderful for a woman with substance! It's by Victoria's Secret and it's especially designed to minimize without looking dumb.

OK- I have to discuss boobs because lately I have gained weight and they are huge to the point of gross- I think.

When I look at my self naked the boobs are def big, but also not as perky! But that isn't as much of a bother as my shoulders! I have worn a bra since age.....I have no idea. BUT I have been wearing a bra 24/7 since the beginning of my bra wearing life. So I do actually at times have marks in my shoulders :(.....I can't sleep without my bra on!

It's so funny how things have changed as far as boobs go- In the 80s/90s the super models were super skinny with not much chest SO that's what I wanted. Clothes just look better- Right? Well now I know that's not true, but then I wanted nothing to do with boobs. I hid my boobs.

As I got older and liked boys almost as much as fashion I couldn't figure out why boys would like my friend so much. She would wear tight sweaters and I was like - ew. I wore bags hoping to look like a stick, but looking more like a chubby kid than a girl. Then I don't know if someone told me or I just figured it out: Boobs get you attention. Not always the welcomed attention, but attention. I learned this in my 20s- that my boobs were big for my size- what ever that information did for me? I guess he thought I would be flattered. So then I learned sometimes I wanted attention and sometimes no. In my late 20s boob jobs became more popular and then sometimes people would have the nerve to ask if they were real. You can't blame the person boobs had taken on a life of their own- it wasn't even like they were a body party anymore. WHAT is really funny is the bigger the boobs the badder the attention gets! I realized that in my 30s. And no mom wants attention while walking through Walmart with your child.

So now I'm 40 and KNOW that a bad bra does us no justice! I can think back to grammar school in my early bra wearing years- MRS>(my Spanish teacher) She had 3 boobs! Not really but she had the boob over pour- that I sport at times. YUK!

And speaking of 3 boobs- Did you know that when we are maturing in our mom's belly we actually have a line of possible boob locations? NO? I didn't know that UNTIL- I was going to have my son and in my doctor's office he found a mark on my stomach that resembled an early, early nipple form.

This is called a supernumerary nipple. (sorry to use that n word)

They arise during fetal development, when something along the milk lines goes slightly awry, triggering the development of an additional nipple. Around one in 18 humans has an extra nipple, making the condition not at all unusual.

I have one. No one besides my doctor ever noticed mine.

Some people say it means you're special other say it's the sign of a witch!

I didn't realize how much of a boob person I was until blogging this. Now for sure my son can never read this blog. Or Rob for that matter- he will flip out over that 3rd thingy. lol

UPDATE to THIS POST
5 days after posting this I had a mamo and ultra sound my 1st ever- to find out I had 2 tumors in my right breast.  I think all along I knew there was something up with my breasts, but honestly didn't know what.  I would never have thought I would get breast cancer being my family isn't one for a history of breast cancer.  Well myself and my cousin both were diagnosed at 40.  Our fathers were brothers.

Please if you wonder about your breast go to your doctor and get checked.  This post was a nice tribute to my life with my breasts. I now will carry on without one.

I am free of cancer now- in remission but I'm high risk for breast cancer. 
God Bless and GET YOUR MAMOS AT 40 AND SOONER IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY HISTORY.
AND IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING FROM ME PLEASE CONTACT ME.
Danielle
1/7/2011