Saturday, August 10, 2013

Aug 10 De-cluttering with Dara

As I've said in past posts- I love Dara Dubinet and her Youtube channel.

Here is a link to her discussing extreme sport de-cluttering.  She is the one of the people who inspires me to eat better, keep flowers and now most recently de-clutter.  Dara did 27 things for 27 days!

Everything she says pretty much is right on for me as you'll read:

The unwanted emotions that come out during de-cluttering.

So it's Friday night and I have to say that Friday nights at home are probably my absolute favorite.  We are all home and the weekend is the next day and it's just such a happy time!!!!

We were gonna go away this weekend, but things have changed.  So now I will have more time to kick up my de-cluttering.  After my bedroom I think I will head to our basement to do some major clothing de-clutter as well as try and get Lucas to go through somethings.  I think enough time has passed for him that somethings he thought were so important at 10 won't be at 16.  Oh we'll see he's very sentimental- very sentimental.  I think that some of his attachment to his things comes from the days of going to his dad's house.  I really wish that would have been a better experience than it was.  When I think of the dramatic pick-ups it still hurts my heart.  I hope that one day Lucas can heal from that- I know I'm still healing from it.  Cleaning things up and getting rid of things is helping.

Dara talks about de-cluttering and how it can help with the release of unwanted emotions that may be stuck. And yes doing all this de-cluttering really makes me think of a lot of things.  Like that caterpillar I have hanging on my clothing rack - it brings me such comfort.  It was from a time when I was married the first time and things were not good at all.  I believe I still have that pain in me.  I think I've cried enough, but maybe I haven't.  Last night as I was sitting with Rob a news report came on TV and it was about the 13 year old being beat on the school bus by 3 other boys while the bus driver just kept telling them to stop.  I was so upset and crying that we had to turn it off.  I just couldn't tolerate that boy being beat and no one being there for him.  This has been a fear for me ever since the days of pick-up when Lucas was so upset.  I worried so much for him- I wanted him to feel safe and want to go, but it wasn't the case.  So I have a part of me that will be forever sensitive to a boy being hurt.  I had a family member hurt (little boy) and it made me so angry and again was crying.  In life we live through a pain, but sometimes it takes years for the hurt to come out fully.  I'm now just getting the connection of my sensitivity to boys being hurt.  In my heart I know as long as Lucas is breathing he has some hurt in him over his father and that is probably why I continue to be overly sensitive and cry over boys being hurt.

I have other situations that make certain emotions come out- I'll talk more about those another time.

In this time of de-cluttering and actually eating better I find more time for thoughts.  My de-cluttering isn't just about things it's about my life.  I want to live the life I should and I want to be me.  I don't want to hold things in - I want to be totally truthful and live.  Clutter is a good way to hide from being yourself- I'm starting to really believe that.

Ok- enough of my flaky philosophy!  For the most part I am me- it's just when people hurt or make me mad I tend to be nice instead of being real....and everyone deserves REAL from me.  Oh the things I could learn from my mother who has never been phony a day in her life. 

And would you say a little prayer for Dara as her mom is ill and Dara is spending her last days with her.

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