Thursday, August 1, 2013

Aug 1 De-clutter was a blur

 Well my night started with making dinner.  I couldn't wait to finish making dinner so I could make a new recipe- Mango Pudding.  I seen Dara Dubinet make it and I had to try it.  It was so super easy.  All it was was mango and mango....fresh and dried.  I also tried the coconut cream topping.  I really wish I had fresh coconut.
The pudding was really good!
 
Onto De-cluttering
It's harder than ya think to find stuff....sort of.  It's sort of like "where the hell do I begin"
 
So some things are easy to get rid of while others are hard.  I'm a big cry baby so there are some things I can actually cry over getting rid of!  What?  Yeah really.
Why cry?  Well I get very attached to things; I always have since I was a little peanut.  Say a fake rose I have which is orange to top it off- I could cry getting rid of it.  I got that flower on a retreat I attended with some other cancer survivors.  I loved spending time with all of them and some are even dead now.  I hate to think of them as gone so I long for the experience to last forever.  When I meet people I really like I never want to think I'll never see them again.  It's just hard for me.  I don't want time to pass and I don't want anyone or anything to go away that I love or enjoy.  But why?  I have no idea.  I do know however that that rose isn't doing anything to keep me in touch with those girls.  I know I will still have those feelings of love and support without that rose.  We had a beautiful ceremony and I picked that rose for myself, but I don't need it when I have all the memories. 
I still haven't resolved how to deal with stuff like this, but I will allow myself to cry while I let some things go.  A good idea is to maybe write some wonderful memories down and take a picture of some special things I choose to pass on to someone else.
 
I also tore out a couple of diary pages- they were too sad and really needed to go!
 
So here's a picture of a few items I managed to gathered.  I hadn't gotten to all 20 items when I took this picture.  I also hadn't added the rose yet.

 And here's another thing that happens when I'm going through stuff I find things and think:
Why don't I ever wear this.  I love this headband- I really need to find a time to wear it!!!

Day 1 - not too bad.  It was a blur with trying new recipes, crying, reading diary entries, smelling perfume, and trying on headbands. 

Then Lucas get's home and we discuss  "first of the month" working at KFC and I enjoy listening to him talk about work. 

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