The pudding was really good!
It's harder than ya think to find stuff....sort of. It's sort of like "where the hell do I begin"
So some things are easy to get rid of while others are hard. I'm a big cry baby so there are some things I can actually cry over getting rid of! What? Yeah really.
Why cry? Well I get very attached to things; I always have since I was a little peanut. Say a fake rose I have which is orange to top it off- I could cry getting rid of it. I got that flower on a retreat I attended with some other cancer survivors. I loved spending time with all of them and some are even dead now. I hate to think of them as gone so I long for the experience to last forever. When I meet people I really like I never want to think I'll never see them again. It's just hard for me. I don't want time to pass and I don't want anyone or anything to go away that I love or enjoy. But why? I have no idea. I do know however that that rose isn't doing anything to keep me in touch with those girls. I know I will still have those feelings of love and support without that rose. We had a beautiful ceremony and I picked that rose for myself, but I don't need it when I have all the memories.
I still haven't resolved how to deal with stuff like this, but I will allow myself to cry while I let some things go. A good idea is to maybe write some wonderful memories down and take a picture of some special things I choose to pass on to someone else.
I also tore out a couple of diary pages- they were too sad and really needed to go!
So here's a picture of a few items I managed to gathered. I hadn't gotten to all 20 items when I took this picture. I also hadn't added the rose yet.
Why don't I ever wear this. I love this headband- I really need to find a time to wear it!!!
Day 1 - not too bad. It was a blur with trying new recipes, crying, reading diary entries, smelling perfume, and trying on headbands.
Then Lucas get's home and we discuss "first of the month" working at KFC and I enjoy listening to him talk about work.